So you say ''No'' to my proposal. Let me tell you what I have heard about you

Question

Please change the following text in a movie's dialogue:
So you say No to my proposal. Let me tell you what I have heard about you: You are a good person, a man of principles, and above all an honest man in a profession like yours where it's hard to find one. I really admire such men. But when these come in my way and they are threat to my interests I begin to act like an animal which has no respect for goodness of men. I warn you don't take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk.

A Cornish Pasty · Accepted Answer

Jackson6612Please change the following text in a movie's dialogue:
So you're saying "No" to my proposal? Let me tell you what I have heard about you. You are a good person, a man of principles, and above all an honest man in a profession like yours where it's hard to find one. I really admire such men. But when theyse ~~come~~ get in my way and they are threat to my interests I begin to act like an animal which has no respect for the goodness of men. I'm warning you: don't take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk.

I'm not sure what you meant by "change", so I've copyedited it.

"the goodness of men" could be changed into "the goodness of man" or "the goodness of mankind" to mean all people. Although it's not very politically correct.

"so far" could be changed into "too seriously", which sounds more natural.

"Where your own life" is fine if a particular place is meant, but if it's an undefined time in general then use "when your own life". If in doubt use "when".

Jackson6612 · Answer

Thank you Cornish Pasty.

Yoong Liat · Answer

A Cornish PastyI'm warning you: don't take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk.

I'm warning you ~~don't~~ not to take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk. (Shouldn't the sentence be as amended?)

Tanit · Answer

Hi,

Yoong Liat
A Cornish PastyI'm warning you: don't take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk.
I'm warning you: ~~don't~~ not to take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk. (Shouldn't the sentence be as amended?)

My two cents: not if you keep that colon after "you".
(It's hardly noticeable, isn't it?

)

Yoong Liat · Answer

Thanks, Tanit.

I didn't notice the colon. Remove it for me, please. Thanks.

Tanit · Answer

Yoong LiatI didn't notice the colon. Remove it for me, please.

Hi,

Done.

A Cornish Pasty · Answer

Yoong Liat
A Cornish PastyI'm warning you: don't take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk.
I'm warning you ~~don't~~ not to take your principles and honesty so far where your own life is at risk. (Shouldn't the sentence be as amended?)

Yes both sentences are correct.

Yoong Liat · Answer

Thanks, Tanit.

So you say ''No'' to my proposal. Let me tell you what I have heard about you

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