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Mrgreego Posted 16 years ago
Grammar

Slogan to check

hi all,

I'm creating a game and need help with proper translation of my slogan and "About" section.
It's probably fine, but I want it look profesionally and as not english native I'm not 100% sure. If you have problem understanding what is this game about, it's then written wrong Emotion: smile Please help!

  1. Car Battle is a game built to allow car enthusiasts to achieve (at least virtually) great collection of cars of all parts of the beautiful Automobile History.

  2. All cars (actually 1200+ of them) are represented by cards which you collect into special albums. Albums are very diverse and presents different parts in Automobile History. You'll find here cars expensive like hell and cheap ones, beautiful and with controversial design, latest state of the art prototypes and ones that rolled off production lines decades ago. Get as many albums as possible and fill'em with cars you collect by battling other players or buy on auctions. Have fun!





  

Top answer

Here is my suggested revision. I changed some of your word choices to make them more appropriate to the audience and filled in some of the words to make the sense clearer. Let me know if you have any particular questions.

— Doctor D

  • Here is my suggested revision.
  • I changed some of your word choices to make them more appropriate to the audience and filled in some of the words to make the sense clearer.
  • Let me know if you have any particular questions.
  • Car Battle is a game built to allow car enthusiasts to achieve create (at least virtually) a great collection of cars of from all parts of the beautiful Automobile automotive h istory.
  • # All cars (actually 1200+ of them) are represented by cards which you collect into special albums.
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1 Answers
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Here is my suggested revision. I changed some of your word choices to make them more appropriate to the audience and filled in some of the words to make the sense clearer. Let me know if you have any particular questions.

Car Battle is a game built to allow car enthusiasts to achieve create (at least virtually) a great collection of cars of
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