Slogan gone wrong?
Hello,
My company just launched a new website and they included a slogan on the front page, which they came up with after what was apparently a long brainstorm session. However, it makes me cringe every time I read it.
I am not looking for a new slogan. I am just looking for some input as to why this is so gramatically incorrect (I assume it is, but I lack knowledge to explain why...).
This is it: 'It is the spirit, the drive and the knowledge that are the key competences in [company name] that give our analyzer solutions the highest value for your company'
To me it seems something goes wrong at the start with 'It is', followed by a summary, and then followed by 'that are'. And in general the thing is just super annoying to read.
Any help would be highly appreciated. Thanks.
Top answer
paint guava 443 This is it: 'It is the spirit, the drive and the knowledge that are the key competences in [company name] that give our analyzer solutions the highest value for your company' You're right, it's horrible. It is not strictly speaking ungrammatical, but the pattern "It is the X that are Y that Z" is awkward to start with, and the clunky verbosity piled on top of this just makes things worse.
- paint guava 443 This is it: 'It is the spirit, the drive and the knowledge that are the key competences in [company name] that give our analyzer solutions the highest value for your company' You're right, it's horrible.
- It is not strictly speaking ungrammatical, but the pattern "It is the X that are Y that Z" is awkward to start with, and the clunky verbosity piled on top of this just makes things worse.
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paint guava 443This is it: 'It is the spirit, the drive and the knowledge that are the key competences in [company name] that give our analyzer solutions the highest value for your company'
You're right, it's horrible. It is not strictly speaking ungrammatical, but the pattern "It is the X that are Y that Z" is awkward to start with, and the clunky verbosit
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