sitting waiting smoking

sitting waiting smoking



you're at the edge

you know you have to jump

you know you have to jump soon

you know you're going to jump

but you don't

you stall

you put it off for a while and stare at the great beyond

you complain that it's not great enough

mumbling petty words into the air

with a frown on your face

and an empty lost stare



i'll quit tomorrow, i say

its 1am and i'm making resolutions

imagining what it would be like to look different

to act differently, to be the person i always wanted to be

i promise to erase the shyness

to embrace the moment

to live a life worth living

but i know its a load of bullshit

i know i won't keep my own promises

i don't love myself enough

maybe i should do it for you

maybe i should promise to change, for you



complaints and promises

nagging and dreaming

that's what i'm good at

push never comes to shove

i never get down to it, to taking that jump

leaping into the great unknown with fearlessness

and loving every second of it

i know what i want

i know i have to get it

i know i'm going to get it

but not just yet

i'll stall, i'll put it off



sitting, waiting, smoking,



maybe tomorrow