Sicientist essay rewrite, 2 !

Question

Scientific inquiry is rooted in the desire to discover, but there is no discovery so important that in its pursuit a threat to human life can be tolerated.
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Scientists discoveries are playing important role to make healthy, natural and technology advancements in our society, but not important that the threat of human life caused.

Some research does not involve humans, like making new computers or inventing softwares. But in World War 2, what Nazis did to prisoners was wrong, they did many experiments on humans without anyone willingly volunteer, in which resulted in people's death and permanent disability, they considered human as Guinea Pig .

On the other hand, I believe there are situations in which a humans experiment might be tolerated. As an example, patient who is suffering from terminal disease such as Aids, might be applied in experiments. Drugs that use in animals in laboratory to cure them no knows if it will work on patient hosptial bed, why not using it on human who is suffering from Aids or cancer, the patient will die anyway ?

I do believe experiments that put human's life at risk can not be tolerated, if a human is suffering from deadly disease, at this point experiment can be tolerated.

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Pleas, in this thread tell what are my mistakes ?
Thanks ahead,
Abdul

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

xmagedo - Please write simple sentences, and write them correctly first (Subject - verb - object). You are trying to write sentences that are much too complicated. As a result, you make many mistakes.

Scientists (Either use the possessive: scientists', or the adjective: scientific)discoveries are playing an important role in making ~~to make~~ healthy, natural and technology advancements in our society, but none are ~~not~~ important enough to cause ~~that the~~ threats to of human life ~~caused~~. Some research does not involve human subjects, like making new computers or writing ~~inventing~~ softwares. (software is not plural) But in World War 2, what (who) did to prisoners was wrong, they (who?) did many experiments on humans without anyone willingly volunteering, in which resulted in people's deaths and permanent disabilities, they considered humans as guinea pigs . On the other hand, I believe there are situations in which a humans (do not use "a" with a plural noun) experiment might be tolerated. As an example, a patient who is suffering from a terminal disease such as AIDS, might be used ~~applied~~ in experiments. Drugs that use on in animals in laboratories to cure them no knows if it will work on patient hosptial bed, why not using it on human who is suffering from Aids or cancer, the patient will die anyway ? (This sentence does not make sense) I do believe experiments that put a human's life at risk can not be tolerated; if a human is suffering from a deadly disease, ~~at this point~~ experimentation can be tolerated.

Xmagedo · Answer

You are right!
I always try to use very attractive sentence, then I end up making it so complicated. When I read articles in news papers I get inspired on how the writer describe the events, so I am just trying to be like one of those.
If you have a good advice on how to write very attractive and detailed sentence, then help me !

Xmagedo · Answer

Here is the final edited on science essay, this time I tried to use easy sentences as you mentioned, pleas have a look !
Thank for your corporation. You are really great.
Wish you all the best in your life
Abdul
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The general meaning of scientific is to discover new things that help in making natural, technology and healthy advancements of the society. The statement above claims that scientific discoveries are very important, but not important to cause threats to human life. Discoveries that put human life at risk can not be tolerate .

In World War 2, what the **** did to the prisoners was wrong, they used the people that were in prison for different experiments without willingly volunteering, which resulted in people's death and permanent disabilities. They considered humans as guinea pigs

I believe there are situations where humans life can be tolerated. As an example, a person who is suffering from deadly disease and he has no way to survive, then scientific can apply experiment on this person. Scientists might find cure to a terminal disease from this person, and help the next generation.
In general, I do not believe scientific discovery is worth a threat to human life. But if the discovery will create antibotic that has the ability to cure dangerous disease, such as if there is cure to AIDS and experimental treat wont hurt that person, then it can be tolerated.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You are right! I always try to write ~~use~~ very attractive sentences; then I end up making them too ~~it so~~ complicated. When I read articles in newspapers, ~~news~~ ~~papers~~ I get inspired by on how the writer describes the events, so I am just trying to be like one of those.
If you have some a good advice on how to write very attractive and detailed sentences, then help me !

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First write very simple sentences that say what you want. Next, check the subject-verb agreement, spelling, vocabulary, and punctuation. Make corrections to these simple sentences. Then rewrite the sentences using clauses and transistion words. Most professional writers do exactly this. They rewrite their articles many times.
Regards,
A-

s

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The general meaning of scientific (you need a noun here. Scientific is an adjective.) is to discover new things that help in making natural, technology ( you need an adjective here. Technology is a noun.) and healthy advancements in ~~of the~~ society. The statement above claims that scientific discoveries are very important, but not important enough to cause threats to human life. Discoveries that put human life at risk can not be tolerated.
In World War 2, what the ****s did to the prisoners was wrong, (comma splice - use a semicolon) they used the people that were in prison for different experiments without willingly volunteering (this sounds like the ***** did this unwillingly) , which resulted in people's deaths (you probably mean more than one of the prisoners died) and permanent disabilities. They considered humans as guinea pigs (period)

I believe there are situations where humans life (I don't think that is what you mean to say) can be tolerated. As an example, a person who is suffering from a deadly disease and he has no way to survive, then scientific (you need a noun here. Scientific is an adjective.) can perform ~~apply~~ experiment (either say an experiment or experiments) on this person. Scientists might find a cure for to a terminal disease by experimenting with ~~from~~ this person, and help the next generation.
In general, I do not believe scientific discovery is worth a threat to human life. But if the discovery will create antibotic (either say an antibiotic or antibiotics ) that has the ability to cure a dangerous disease, such as if there is cure to AIDS and experimental treat ( a treat is something good to eat - like ice cream) wont hurt that person, then it can be tolerated.

Xmagedo · Answer

Thanks,
Wish you all the best.
Abdul

Sicientist essay rewrite, 2 !

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