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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Should I have the "which was" in sentences like this?

Zaknafein taught Drizzt how to think creatively in a fighting situation, as well as trained his muscles to respond to such thoughts, which was the improvisation that the weapons master insisted was the mark of a skilled warrior.
  

Top answer

cboutin3 Should I have the "which was" in sentences like this? The sentence is unclear about the reference for 'which', with or without its inclusion. The sentence needs major recasting.

— Mister Micawber

  • cboutin3 Should I have the "which was" in sentences like this?
  • The sentence is unclear about the reference for 'which', with or without its inclusion.
  • The sentence needs major recasting.
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3 Answers
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cboutin3Should I have the "which was" in sentences like this?
The sentence is unclear about the reference for 'which', with or without its inclusion. The sentence needs major recasting.
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Is this sentence better? Zaknafein taught Drizzt how to think creatively in a fighting situation, as well as trained his muscles to respond to such thoughts. This was the improvisation that the weapons master insisted was the mark of a skilled warrior.
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No, 'improvisation' does not seem to refer clearly to anything either. When I suggest recasting, I mean it:

Zaknafein taught Drizzt how to improvise in a fight and train his muscles to respond accordingly. The weapons master insisted that this was the mark of a skilled warrior.
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