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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Should I get keep or get rid of "who were"?

The fortress collapsed into a molten ruin that came to be known as Skullcap, and the magical wave of destruction swept across the Plains of Dergoth and annihilated both armies. Besides the thousands of dwarves (who were) killed in the devastating blast, the plains were transformed into a blighted, barren wasteland.
  

Top answer

Again, removing 'who were' sounds better to me because of the maintenance of flow in the sentence. Also, I think you should change 'Besides' to 'Beside' because the former means 'Apart from' or 'Apart from that' and the latter means 'next to'.

— Gene N

  • Again, removing 'who were' sounds better to me because of the maintenance of flow in the sentence.
  • Also, I think you should change 'Besides' to 'Beside' because the former means 'Apart from' or 'Apart from that' and the latter means 'next to'.
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3 Answers
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Again, removing 'who were' sounds better to me because of the maintenance of flow in the sentence.

Also, I think you should change 'Besides' to 'Beside' because the former means 'Apart from' or 'Apart from that' and the latter means 'next to'.
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Thanks for your advice, I think I am going to change the "Besides" to "In addition to".
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Ah, I see what you meant in that sentence now. "In addition to" makes it all clear Emotion: smile
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