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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Short Story
Hi everyone 
Can someone please check if there are any grammar errors in my short story? (it's for school)
Nothing but Everything
It was 3 o’clock in the morning when the phone rang. The volume of the phone gave me a headache. My mind was still sleeping, so I could hardly grab the phone. But somehow, I managed to do it. I put the receiver to my ear. Then, I heard a strange, deep voice saying : “Be careful. Behind you. You have 60 Seconds. Be careful.” Then, the phone went dead.
I had never felt so frightened before. Somehow, I wasn’t able to control my body anymore. My legs did what they wanted to do. Probably, my body wanted to escape. My automated hands were already grabbing the doorknob when the phone rang again. But my legs didn’t care. I escaped.
As soon as I was outside, I enjoyed the fresh air. Somehow, it was relaxing. But the good feeling didn’t last for a long time. I heard a voice. “I can see you”. It was the exact same voice as before. I started to run again. This time, I ran across my garden. I had never run so fast in my life. But two minutes later, my legs weren’t able to run anymore. I was out of breath. My body recovered fast, and as soon as I looked up again, i saw something.
It was a mysterious creature. It had two heads. On each head, there were 3 eyes. The whole body was made out of slime. Green, nasty slime. “I found you”, it said slowly. Then, my body transformed into a sprinter one more time. I ran back to my house. I entered the door and sprinted into my bedroom. My handy locked the door. And somehow, I felt really safe at this moment. Until I felt hands around my neck. I screamed, but it didn’t help. The strange thing was that I could not see anybody. And that is the last thing i can remember. Obviously, I blacked out at that moment.
But today, I know why all of that happened. And I know the secret about the voices, about the strange creature and about the mysterious hands around my neck.
To be honest, the solution is quite simple. That evening, I forgot to take my hallucination drugs.
Can someone please check if there are any grammar errors in my short story? (it's for school)
Nothing but Everything
It was 3 o’clock in the morning when the phone rang. The volume of the phone gave me a headache. My mind was still sleeping, so I could hardly grab the phone. But somehow, I managed to do it. I put the receiver to my ear. Then, I heard a strange, deep voice saying : “Be careful. Behind you. You have 60 Seconds. Be careful.” Then, the phone went dead.
I had never felt so frightened before. Somehow, I wasn’t able to control my body anymore. My legs did what they wanted to do. Probably, my body wanted to escape. My automated hands were already grabbing the doorknob when the phone rang again. But my legs didn’t care. I escaped.
As soon as I was outside, I enjoyed the fresh air. Somehow, it was relaxing. But the good feeling didn’t last for a long time. I heard a voice. “I can see you”. It was the exact same voice as before. I started to run again. This time, I ran across my garden. I had never run so fast in my life. But two minutes later, my legs weren’t able to run anymore. I was out of breath. My body recovered fast, and as soon as I looked up again, i saw something.
It was a mysterious creature. It had two heads. On each head, there were 3 eyes. The whole body was made out of slime. Green, nasty slime. “I found you”, it said slowly. Then, my body transformed into a sprinter one more time. I ran back to my house. I entered the door and sprinted into my bedroom. My handy locked the door. And somehow, I felt really safe at this moment. Until I felt hands around my neck. I screamed, but it didn’t help. The strange thing was that I could not see anybody. And that is the last thing i can remember. Obviously, I blacked out at that moment.
But today, I know why all of that happened. And I know the secret about the voices, about the strange creature and about the mysterious hands around my neck.
To be honest, the solution is quite simple. That evening, I forgot to take my hallucination drugs.
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