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Yoong Liat Posted 19 years ago
Grammar
short story
0 Could someone please edit this short story for me. Thank you very much. 02 br
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00 Once there were ten brothers. They were fishermen. 02 br
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00 One fine morning, they went to catch fish in the sea. They caught many fish. When the sun was about to set, they decided to go home. Before they went home, the eldest brother decided to make sure that none of them was missing. 02 br
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00 So he asked his brothers to line up side by side so that he could count them. Looking at his brothers in front of him, he counted, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.” He was shocked. “One of us is missing,” he said sadly. 02 br
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00 Then the other brothers took turns to count, and finally they were sure that one of them was missing. 02 br
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00 They went around looking for their lost brother. However, they could not find him. They were very sad and wondered how to explain to their parents. 00 02 br
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00 When they were about to go home they saw a passer-by. The eldest brother told them their plight and asked him for help. The young man asked them to stand in front of him. Then he started counting, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.” 00 00 The brothers were now very happy because they realised that none of them was missing after all. They thanked the man and gave him some of their fish to him which he readily accepted. 02 br
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00 0-
02 br
00 Once there were ten brothers. They were fishermen. 02 br
02 br
00 One fine morning, they went to catch fish in the sea. They caught many fish. When the sun was about to set, they decided to go home. Before they went home, the eldest brother decided to make sure that none of them was missing. 02 br
02 br
00 So he asked his brothers to line up side by side so that he could count them. Looking at his brothers in front of him, he counted, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.” He was shocked. “One of us is missing,” he said sadly. 02 br
02 br
00 Then the other brothers took turns to count, and finally they were sure that one of them was missing. 02 br
02 br
00 They went around looking for their lost brother. However, they could not find him. They were very sad and wondered how to explain to their parents. 00 02 br
02 br
00 When they were about to go home they saw a passer-by. The eldest brother told them their plight and asked him for help. The young man asked them to stand in front of him. Then he started counting, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.” 00 00 The brothers were now very happy because they realised that none of them was missing after all. They thanked the man and gave him some of their fish to him which he readily accepted. 02 br
02 br
00 0-
Top answer
", you could say: "... " or "... " - take away "to him".
- ", you could say: "...
- " or "...
- " - take away "to him".
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2 Answers
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0 I could only find a couple of things: 02 br
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00 - Penultimate paragraph; last sentence: "They were very sad..." - instead of "...and wondered how to explain...", you could say: "... and wondered what to say..." or "... and wondered how to explain what happened..." 02 br
02 br
00 - Last paragraph; last sentence: "They thanked...." - take away "to him". 0-
02 br
00 - Penultimate paragraph; last sentence: "They were very sad..." - instead of "...and wondered how to explain...", you could say: "... and wondered what to say..." or "... and wondered how to explain what happened..." 02 br
02 br
00 - Last paragraph; last sentence: "They thanked...." - take away "to him". 0-
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0 Hello Ann 02 br
02 br
00 Many thanks for your constructive comments, especially the comment "They thanked...." - take away "to him". 0-
02 br
00 Many thanks for your constructive comments, especially the comment "They thanked...." - take away "to him". 0-
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