0
Yoong Liat Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
short passage
0 Could someone please edit this passage for me. Thank you very much. 02 br
02 br
00 Alice has a baby sister. Her name is Sally. Sally is two months old. She cannot eat food because she has no teeth. She drinks milk and water from a bottle. 02 br
02 br
00 Alice loves her sister very much. She likes to play with her and see her smile. 02 br
02 br
00 Sally cries whenever she is hungry or thirsty. Alice will feed her with milk when she is hungry, and water when she is thirsty whenever her mother is busy. 02 br
02 br
00 Her mother puts Sally to bed every night, but Alice will do so when her mother is busy. Her mother loves Alice very much because she is a helpful and obedient child. 0-
02 br
00 Alice has a baby sister. Her name is Sally. Sally is two months old. She cannot eat food because she has no teeth. She drinks milk and water from a bottle. 02 br
02 br
00 Alice loves her sister very much. She likes to play with her and see her smile. 02 br
02 br
00 Sally cries whenever she is hungry or thirsty. Alice will feed her with milk when she is hungry, and water when she is thirsty whenever her mother is busy. 02 br
02 br
00 Her mother puts Sally to bed every night, but Alice will do so when her mother is busy. Her mother loves Alice very much because she is a helpful and obedient child. 0-
Top answer
0 The grammar and syntax are fine. But your writing is stilted. It's like a reading book for small children.
- 0 The grammar and syntax are fine.
- But your writing is stilted.
- It's like a reading book for small children.
- 02 br 02 br 00 For instance, your first paragraph could go "Alice has a baby sister who is two months old and is called Sally.
- Because she is a baby and has no teeth, she cannot eat solid food.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
1 Answers
0
0 The grammar and syntax are fine. But your writing is stilted. It's like a reading book for small children. 02 br
02 br
00 For instance, your first paragraph could go "Alice has a baby sister who is two months old and is called Sally. Because she is a baby and has no teeth, she cannot eat solid food. Instead, she drinks milk or water from a bottle." 0-
02 br
00 For instance, your first paragraph could go "Alice has a baby sister who is two months old and is called Sally. Because she is a baby and has no teeth, she cannot eat solid food. Instead, she drinks milk or water from a bottle." 0-
0
Related Questions