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Lission Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Short compostion for correction

Hi everybody

Could someone go through this short composition and correct any errors found? I would appreciate any suggestions to improve the composition. Many thanks in advance for your help.

Last Sunday, my family and I went to the beach at the East Coast Parkway. When we stepped onto the sandy beach, a gentle breeze blew onto our faces.

My brother and I were rushing to the public toilets to change into our swimming attire. My parents laughed at seeing us in such a hurry.

After my brother and I had changed, we ran to the sea to have a swim. After swimming for about half an hour, our mother called us for lunch. Our lunch consisted of peanut butter sandwiches.

After lunch, my brother and I went to take a nap. After we had woken up, my parents joined us for a swim. After we swam, we went to take a shower at the public toilets. After the shower, we packed up and went home.
  

Top answer

Hi, Last Sunday, my family and I went to the beach at the East Coast Parkway. When we stepped onto the sandy beach, a gentle breeze blew on our faces. My brother and I were rushing rushed to the public toilets to change into our swimming attire (swim trunks/suits).

  • Hi, Last Sunday, my family and I went to the beach at the East Coast Parkway.
  • When we stepped onto the sandy beach, a gentle breeze blew on our faces.
  • My brother and I were rushing rushed to the public toilets to change into our swimming attire (swim trunks/suits).
  • My parents laughed at seeing us in such a hurry.
  • After my brother and I had changed, we ran to the sea to have a swim.
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2 Answers
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Hi,

Last Sunday, my family and I went to the beach at the East Coast Parkway. When we stepped onto the sandy beach, a gentle breeze blew on our faces.

My brother and I were rushing rushed to the public toilets to change into our swimming attire (swim trunks/suits). My parents laughed at seeing us in such a hurry.

After my brother and I ha
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Hi Clive

Thank you very much for your corrections.

I agree. Public toilets are for answering nature's call. So it is a mistake I made.

I am trying my best to improve my writing and I look forward to your help.

By the way, there is a longer composition (found in ESL Essay, Writing World) which I've written, but so far nobody has edited it. I would appreci

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