She, 24, attractive, searches for someone who…

….. who could help me with my letter of motivation. I worked it over and I would appreciate it so much if you find 5 mins to correct it. PLEASE!!!
Thank you very much in advance!
Josefine

Dear Sir/Madam

My name is Josefine, I am 24 years old and in June I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in sociology with focus on business. I am highly motivated to continue my studies at the . It is the master of human resource management I chose because it combines business and social science which are fields I am already familiar with. By following this program I can enhance my basic knowledge to become specialised. The benefit I expect is to realize my intention to work in the sector of human resource management.

To understand the organisational behaviour I did a dual apprenticeship at ABC GmbH for two years. This multinational enterprise offered me the opportunity to gain insight the operational sequences of an industrial firm. I supported the everyday business in many departments, such as human resource management, public relations, sales, marketing, accounting, logistics, customer services and the purchasing department. It required the ability to work productively and co-operatively in different kinds of group, to work under pressure, to manage time well and of course IT skills.
At the same time I received the theoretical background at the BSD Chamber of Commerce. My subjects were industrial business management, accounting, organisation, automatic data processing and economics and civics.
n the department of human resource management I helped to prearrange and to accomplish the recruiting procedure which I found very interesting. I enjoyed working with people but I also learned that it can be very difficult. A human resource manager must show qualities such as sensitiveness, reliability and of course a deep expert knowledge. Meeting the character demands, I decided to gain expertise and to seek a career in this field.
The apprenticeship at ABC Schweiz GmbH in reconfirmed my intention.

Since I enjoyed working in the human resource management I developed my skills in social science by studying sociology with focus on business. At the University ** I attended courses regarding the organisational behaviour and structure of institutions, communication and industry. By doing research I became familiar with information retrieval and I learned to solve problems independently. It also enabled me to think analytically and critically. Due to my double degree program I participated in I spent one year in **/ at the università degli studi di **. During this year I learned Italian and I also received the Italian “Laurea Triennale” which is the equivalent of the German bachelor degree.

I spent nine months in Boston/USA at the EF where I had the chance to improve my English which I studied already for nine years. To verify my knowledge I will take the TOEFL in April 2006 and hand the results in to you.
The experiences I made in the USA, Italy and made me flexible and open-minded. In addition I acquired a multicultural understanding and the ability to interact with different natures.

The combination of practical and theoretical background I gained as well as the personal skills and key competences I bring with make me a suitable applicant for the program of human resource management. I am very enthusiastic to continue my studies in Great Britain because the education system is famous for its high quality and especially the XXX University has a very good reputation for………………………..
Sincerely,

Josefine