sex is uncountable?

Question

i looked up this expression 'have sex with sb'.
i think 'have a sex with sb' is also quite probable because 'a walk', 'a rest', 'a shower' and some more things refering to action is used with 'a'. if 'have a sex with' is never possibl,e would anyone tell me why? any answer is ok. i just want to know what image or thought they have in mind for the expression.

JohnBoz · Accepted Answer

You can not say:

The question is whether we use an article for the activity which is a noun.

You can say have sexual intercourse.

When you look in the American corpus, You can see this structure:

... have *** with .... as one of the most common, so I tried searching "have + noun + with" to see what works here.

HAVE *** WITH 1176
2 HAVE PROBLEMS WITH 370
3 HAVE TROUBLE WITH 315
4 HAVE DINNER WITH 305
5 HAVE LUNCH WITH 193
6 HAVE CONTACT WITH 169
7 HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH 132
8 HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH 70
9 HAVE CHILDREN WITH 66
10 HAVE BREAKFAST WITH 52
11 HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH 52
12 HAVE ISSUES WITH 52
13 HAVE PEOPLE WITH 44
14 HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH 42
15 HAVE COFFEE WITH 35
16 HAVE DIFFICULTIES WITH 35
17 HAVE RELATIONS WITH 35
18 HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH 25
19 HAVE CONTRACTS WITH 23
20 HAVE TEA WITH 21
21 HAVE TIME WITH 20
22 HAVE SUCCESS WITH 19
23 HAVE BUSINESS WITH 17
24 HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH 17
25 HAVE CONTACTS WITH 17
26 HAVE DISCUSSIONS WITH 16
27 HAVE PEACE WITH 16
28 HAVE KIDS WITH 15
29 HAVE SUPPER WITH 15
30 HAVE MEETINGS WITH 14
31 HAVE TIES WITH 14
32 HAVE LINKS WITH 13
33 HAVE CREDIBILITY WITH 12
34 HAVE FRIENDS WITH 12
35 HAVE PATIENCE WITH 12
36 HAVE AGREEMENTS WITH 11
37 HAVE AFFAIRS WITH 11
38 HAVE CONFLICTS WITH 11
39 HAVE INFLUENCE WITH 11
40 HAVE PARENTS WITH 11
41 HAVE SYMPATHY WITH 11
42 HAVE ACCOUNTS WITH 10
43 HAVE DEALINGS WITH 10
44 HAVE DIALOGUE WITH 10
45 HAVE DISAGREEMENTS WITH 10
46 HAVE PROBLEM WITH 10
47 HAVE STUDENTS WITH 10
48 HAVE DEALS WITH 9
49 HAVE BABIES WITH 8
50 HAVE HELP WITH 8
51 HAVE WORDS WITH 8
52 HAVE CHRISTMAS WITH 7
53 HAVE DIFFERENCES WITH 7
54 HAVE PATIENTS WITH 7
55 HAVE PLANS WITH 7
56 HAVE COMMUNICATIONS WITH 6
57 HAVE CONCERNS WITH 6
58 HAVE DEAL WITH 6
59 HAVE EMPATHY WITH 6
60 HAVE FAMILIES WITH 6
61 HAVE PIZZA WITH 6
62 HAVE RELATIVES WITH 6
63 HAVE RESONANCE WITH 6
64 HAVE TALKS WITH 6
65 HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH 5
66 HAVE ALLIANCES WITH 5
67 HAVE ARRANGEMENTS WITH 5
68 HAVE COMMUNICATION WITH 5
69 HAVE CONVERSATION WITH 5
70 HAVE DEBTS WITH 5
71 HAVE FIGHTS WITH 5
72 HAVE INTERACTIONS WITH 5
73 HAVE OFFSPRING WITH 5
74 HAVE WINE WITH 5
75 HAVE ARGUMENTS WITH 4
76 HAVE APPOINTMENTS WITH 4
77 HAVE COMPLIANCE WITH 4
78 HAVE COOPERATION WITH 4
79 HAVE DATES WITH 4
80 HAVE DEALING WITH 4
81 HAVE DRINKS WITH 4
82 HAVE FAMILIARITY WITH 4
83 HAVE JOBS WITH 4
84 HAVE NEGOTIATIONS WITH 4
85 HAVE PARTNERS WITH 4
86 HAVE PASTA WITH 4
87 HAVE TEACHERS WITH 4
88 HAVE CHICKEN WITH 3
89 HAVE CLASSES WITH 3
90 HAVE CLIENTS WITH 3
91 HAVE ASSOCIATIONS WITH 3
92 HAVE COCKTAILS WITH 3
93 HAVE COMPUTERS WITH 3
94 HAVE CONFLICT WITH 3
95 HAVE DESSERT WITH 3
96 HAVE ENCOUNTERS WITH 3
97 HAVE FRIENDSHIPS WITH 3
98 HAVE GUNS WITH 3
99 HAVE GUYS WITH 3
100 HAVE HOMES WITH

Also we can do the same for "have + a + noun + with" obviously we are looking at countable nouns now.

HAVE A PROBLEM WITH 1166
2 HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH 250
3 HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH 194
4 HAVE A WORD WITH 137
5 HAVE A TALK WITH 99
6 HAVE A DRINK WITH 72
7 HAVE A CHILD WITH 61
8 HAVE A DIALOGUE WITH 49
9 HAVE A MEETING WITH 48
10 HAVE A WAY WITH 43
11 HAVE A BEER WITH 37
12 HAVE A CHAT WITH 36
13 HAVE A DATE WITH 32
14 HAVE A CONNECTION WITH 27
15 HAVE A CONTRACT WITH 27
16 HAVE A BABY WITH 25
17 HAVE A FIGHT WITH 25
18 HAVE A DISCUSSION WITH 23
19 HAVE A CHANCE WITH 20
20 HAVE A DEAL WITH 18
21 HAVE A BEEF WITH 17
22 HAVE A FASCINATION WITH 16
23 HAVE A JOB WITH 15
24 HAVE A RENDEZVOUS WITH 15
25 HAVE A HISTORY WITH 13
26 HAVE A PRESIDENT WITH 12
27 HAVE A CONFLICT WITH 10
28 HAVE A DISAGREEMENT WITH 10
29 HAVE A MAN WITH 10
30 HAVE A CAMERA WITH 9
31 HAVE A CONFRONTATION WITH 9
32 HAVE A CHOICE WITH 8
33 HAVE A FUTURE WITH 8
34 HAVE A HOUSE WITH 8
35 HAVE A KID WITH 8
36 HAVE A PICTURE WITH 8
37 HAVE A SALAD WITH 8
38 HAVE A BOOK WITH 7
39 HAVE A HOME WITH 7
40 HAVE A LINK WITH 7
41 HAVE A VISIT WITH 7
42 HAVE A CONCERN WITH 6
43 HAVE A BALL WITH 6
44 HAVE A BOND WITH 6
45 HAVE A DISPUTE WITH 6
46 HAVE A FLING WITH 6
47 HAVE A FRIEND WITH 6
48 HAVE A GUY WITH 6
49 HAVE A PARTNERSHIP WITH 6
50 HAVE A SITUATION WITH 6
51 HAVE A CAR WITH 5
52 HAVE A BLAST WITH 5
53 HAVE A COUNTRY WITH 5
54 HAVE A COVENANT WITH 5
55 HAVE A DEBATE WITH 5
56 HAVE A DIFFERENCE WITH 5
57 HAVE A DOG WITH 5
58 HAVE A HUSBAND WITH 5
59 HAVE A LAWYER WITH 5
60 HAVE A LIFE WITH 5
61 HAVE A MOMENT WITH 5
62 HAVE A PATIENT WITH 5
63 HAVE A PERSON WITH 5
64 HAVE A QUARREL WITH 5
65 HAVE A QUESTION WITH 5
66 HAVE A RELATIVE WITH 5
67 HAVE A ROMANCE WITH 5
68 HAVE A BRUSH WITH 4
69 HAVE A CARD WITH 4
70 HAVE A COFFEE WITH 4
71 HAVE A COMPANY WITH 4
72 HAVE A COMPUTER WITH 4
73 HAVE A FAMILY WITH 4
74 HAVE A FATHER WITH 4
75 HAVE A FIXATION WITH 4
76 HAVE A FRIENDSHIP WITH 4
77 HAVE A HEARING WITH 4
78 HAVE A HIT WITH 4
79 HAVE A MEAL WITH 4
80 HAVE A MINISTER WITH 4
81 HAVE A MOTHER WITH 4
82 HAVE A PARTY WITH 4
83 HAVE A RUN-IN WITH 4
84 HAVE A SIT-DOWN WITH 4
85 HAVE A STATE WITH 4
86 HAVE A SURPLUS WITH 4
87 HAVE A WOMAN WITH 4
88 HAVE A CIGARETTE WITH 3
89 HAVE A CITY WITH 3
90 HAVE A BET WITH 3
91 HAVE A CONDOM WITH 3
92 HAVE A CONFERENCE WITH 3
93 HAVE A CRISIS WITH 3
94 HAVE A DIFFICULTY WITH 3
95 HAVE A DO-OVER WITH 3
96 HAVE A GOVERNMENT WITH 3
97 HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART WITH 3
98 HAVE A PLACE WITH 3
99 HAVE A POINT WITH 3
100 HAVE A POLICY WITH

Clive · Answer

Hi,

The word '***' in that sense is an uncountable noun. ( It is only countable when you say eg 'There are two sexes, male and female' ). So, don't say 'a'.

Walk, rest and shower are all commonly used as countable nouns.

If I heard eg 'I had a *** with Mary' or eg 'I had 3 sexes with Mary', my first thought would be that this person does not speak natural English. My next thought would be that this person does not seem to respect Mary's privacy.

Clive

sex is uncountable?

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