sentences 2

Question

0As a crowd of protesters armed with metal bars and glass bottles hit random pedestrians, a convoy of tanks rolled into the city. Upon seeing the tanks, pedestrians panickly ran for shelter in nearby businesses. When the tanks confronted the protestors, they started throwing rocks, bottles, and even burning objects at the tanks. The soldiers retaliated with water cannons and tear gas. People were seen running away, some protesters were taken into custody and in a matter of minutes, order was restored.02br02br00Please correct any mistakes.02br02br00Thanks!0-

Creativeguru · Accepted Answer

0I would prefer to start the para with following sentence02br
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00As a crowd of protestors armed with metal bars and glass bottles started hitting pedestrians randomly, a convoy of tanks rushed in the city to control the fierce mobs. 00 02br
02br
02br
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00How is it?0-

New2grammar · Answer

0To me, started hitting makes it sounds like the military had been on standby waiting for the protestors to make the first move. That's possible if the government had been expecting the crowd to turn violent, maybe over a unfavorable bill0-

Anonymous · Answer

0you are right 0-

Yoong Liat · Answer

1blockquote

01cite10New2grammar12cite12br
10To me, started hitting makes it 11del~~10sounds12del~~10 (sound) like the military had been on standby waiting for the protestors to make the first move. That's possible if the government had been expecting the crowd to turn violent, maybe over a unfavorable bill12br
12blockquote

10You should use 'sound'. 0-

New2grammar · Answer

0Thanks Yoong Liat. What about the original passage? Any mistakes?0-

Yoong Liat · Answer

1blockquote

01cite10New2grammar12cite12br
10As a crowd of protesters armed with metal bars and glass bottles hit random pedestrians, a convoy of tanks rolled into the city. Upon seeing the tanks, 11b10the 12b10pedestrians 11del~~10panickly12del~~10 ran in panic to take 11del~~10for12del~~10 shelter in nearby shops/stores. 11del~~10businesses12del~~10. When the tanks confronted the protestors, they 11del~~10started throwing12del~~10 threw rocks, bottles, and even burning objects at the tanks. The soldiers retaliated with water cannons and tear gas. People were seen running away, some protesters were taken into custody 11b10and,12b10 in a matter of minutes, order was restored.12br
12br
10Please correct any mistakes.12br
12br
10Thanks!12br
12blockquote

1-

Goodman · Answer

1b00New2grammar,02br
02b00I am not sure if I understand you. 00 00Why did the pedestrians run for shelter from the convey? Shouldn’t the protestor be the ones running?00 00But I did some rewording for you anyway.02br
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00As a crowd of protesters armed with (blunt objests) 00 00and glass bottles (randomly attacking ) pedestrians/ civilians, a convoy of (armored vehicles) carrying the soldiers rolled into the city. 00Upon seeing the (convoy) 00 00pedestrians panickly ran for shelter in nearby businesses.00 When the the soldiers confronted the rioting protestors, they started throwing rocks, bottles, and even burning objects at the soldiers who in return retaliated with water cannons and tear gas. People were seen running away as some perpetrators were taken into custody and in a matter of minutes, order was restored.0-

New2grammar · Answer

0Thanks Goodman.The modified version sounds much better to me.02br
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00Regarding your question about who runs for shelter, I chose the protestors because they are prepared for confrontation with the army, at least they think they are.02br
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00By the way, why is armored vehicles a better substitute for tanks in this context? It is because, normally, water cannons are not installed on tanks and tear gas is usually not fired from tanks but by foot soldiers which suggests the presence of other transports.02br
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00One more thing, do you call soldiers on foot foot soldiers or infantry?0-

New2grammar · Answer

0Sorry. I didn't see your reply before. Thanks for the suggestions. However, I have several questions regarding them.02br
00they 01del~~00started throwing02del~~00 threw 02br
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00Why started throwing is a poor choice in this passage? You have just pointed out one of my most confused areas. I can't wait to hear from you or anyone who can resolve this mystery.02br
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01b00the 02b00pedestrians 01del~~00panickly02del~~00 ran in panic to take 01del~~00for02del~~00 shelter 02br
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00I believe this is a matter of preference and of style but I'll still ask. Why is panickly ran considered incorrect?0-

BarbaraPA · Answer

0You and I posted at the same time, so I will edit my answer.02br
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00I find 01i00started throwing 02i00to be the better choice.02br
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00Panickly is not a word. Or if it is, I've lived 41 years without hearing it. They ran in a panic. In a panic, they ran for shelter.02br
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00I don't know why they would run from the tanks. It seems to me that if people were attacking me with clubs and broken bottles, I'd be running away from THEM!0-

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