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Kk Posted 21 years ago
Grammar
Sentences.
Hello
Can you help me check thses sentences?
Thank you for your help.
The statement that a shopping center will be erected in close proximity to my hometown really strikes a chord with me.
Make a list of all the benefits of constructing a large mall in my neighborhood, for example creating job opportunities, promoting hometown’s prosperity and recreation.
The place where I live in remote area can not attract businessmen’s investment.
People who live near a large-shopping center can earn a rather comfortable life.
Who is willing to kill his free time at home rather than watch a movie in mall?
Can you help me check thses sentences?
Thank you for your help.
The statement that a shopping center will be erected in close proximity to my hometown really strikes a chord with me.
Make a list of all the benefits of constructing a large mall in my neighborhood, for example creating job opportunities, promoting hometown’s prosperity and recreation.
The place where I live in remote area can not attract businessmen’s investment.
People who live near a large-shopping center can earn a rather comfortable life.
Who is willing to kill his free time at home rather than watch a movie in mall?
Top answer
I don't think you have been learning much from me, KK. These sentences exhibit the same weaknesses as I have pointed out in your earlier ones. Try to simplify--get rid of the appositive clauses; try to convert modifying clauses into modifying phrases, and modifying phrases into adjectives: The man who is wearing the cape is Zorro.
- I don't think you have been learning much from me, KK.
- These sentences exhibit the same weaknesses as I have pointed out in your earlier ones.
- Try to simplify--get rid of the appositive clauses; try to convert modifying clauses into modifying phrases, and modifying phrases into adjectives: The man who is wearing the cape is Zorro.
- (too long and awkward) The man in the cape is Zorro.
- (better) The caped man is Zorro.
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1 Answers
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I don't think you have been learning much from me, KK. These sentences exhibit the same weaknesses as I have pointed out in your earlier ones. Try to simplify--get rid of the appositive clauses; try to convert modifying clauses into modifying phrases, and modifying phrases into adjectives:
The man who is wearing the cape is Zorro. (too long and awkward)
The man in the cape is Zorr
The man who is wearing the cape is Zorro. (too long and awkward)
The man in the cape is Zorr
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