Sentence Style

Please check my answers below (for clarity and grammar) and offer suggestions if necessary. Thank you.

Instructions: Revise the sentence(s) to improve clarity. You may need to fix several aspects of the sentence(s).

It is recommended by ShortSighted Communication that your communications plan be updated to include a list of contacts to be used in case of emergency.

Revision: ShortSighted Communication recommends that you update your communication plans to include a list of emergency contacts.

The project plan can be described as this. The list of duties is compiled by the project manager and then reviewed by senior managers, a meeting is convened for steering committee members, of which we have 4, the decision on the approval of the plan is made at the meeting.

Revision: The project plan can be described as a linear flow of events. The project manager compiles a list of duties, which are reviewed by senior managers. Next, a meeting is organized for our four steering committee members, at which a decision on the approval of the plan is made.