Sentence structure

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I've written this:"Being a woman, gender representations in the media, and in particular in vampire films, have always intrigued me, either in how they reflect patriarchal social structures, or in how they challenge those via feminist or post-feminist discourses. "I know it's a long sentence and should probably be shortened, or at least made clearer, but I can't work out how to do it. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

I've written this:

"Being a woman, gender representations in the media, and in particular in vampire films, have always intrigued me, either in how they reflect patriarchal social structures, or in how they challenge those via feminist or post-feminist discourses. "

I know it's a long sentence and should probably be shortened, or at least made clearer, but I can't work out how to do it. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

A few comments.

- I think you need to be more direct in this.

- The phrase 'gender representations' can apply to how not only women but also men are represented.

How about this?

"As a woman I have always been intrigued by how women are represented in the media, and particularly in vampire films. I am specifically interested in how these representations reflect patriarchal social structures, or challenge them via feminist or post-feminist discourses. "

Part of what you are saying here is that 'some representations challenge structures via discourses'. I have no idea what this means. It sounds to me like academic jargon. Is there a way to say it more clearly, in language that an ordinary person in the street will understand?

Clive

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