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Cboutin3 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
Sentence option
Which sentence option is a better? FYI- Tol is the new leader.
1. That night, the pirate captains gathered on the Thunderer, where they were offered a life changing deal by their new leader: if they abandoned piracy and submitted to the authority of the empire, Tol promised amnesty from the emperor and that they would become the first Imperial Navy of Ergoth.
2. That night, the pirate captains gathered on the Thunderer, where they were offered a life changing deal by their new leader: if they abandoned piracy and submitted to the authority of the empire, Tol promised amnesty from the emperor. Tol declared that the pardoned corsair crews would become the first Imperial Navy of Ergoth.
1. That night, the pirate captains gathered on the Thunderer, where they were offered a life changing deal by their new leader: if they abandoned piracy and submitted to the authority of the empire, Tol promised amnesty from the emperor and that they would become the first Imperial Navy of Ergoth.
2. That night, the pirate captains gathered on the Thunderer, where they were offered a life changing deal by their new leader: if they abandoned piracy and submitted to the authority of the empire, Tol promised amnesty from the emperor. Tol declared that the pardoned corsair crews would become the first Imperial Navy of Ergoth.
Top answer
Despite its length, I think the first example flows better.
- Despite its length, I think the first example flows better.
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