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Cboutin3 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
Sentence option
Which option for this complex sentence is a better choice?
1. When the army of the dark wizard Fistandantilus and their Neidar dwarf and Abanasinian plainsmen allies began a conflict that became known as Dwarfgate War in 39 AC by marching on the fortress of Pax Tharkas, which was under the control of the mountain dwarves, Kharas urged Duncan to propose peace.
2. In 39 AC, when the army of the dark wizard Fistandantilus and their Neidar dwarf and Abanasinian plainsmen allies began a conflict that became known as Dwarfgate War in 39 AC by marching on the fortress of Pax Tharkas, which was under the control of the mountain dwarves, Kharas urged Duncan to propose peace.
1. When the army of the dark wizard Fistandantilus and their Neidar dwarf and Abanasinian plainsmen allies began a conflict that became known as Dwarfgate War in 39 AC by marching on the fortress of Pax Tharkas, which was under the control of the mountain dwarves, Kharas urged Duncan to propose peace.
2. In 39 AC, when the army of the dark wizard Fistandantilus and their Neidar dwarf and Abanasinian plainsmen allies began a conflict that became known as Dwarfgate War in 39 AC by marching on the fortress of Pax Tharkas, which was under the control of the mountain dwarves, Kharas urged Duncan to propose peace.
Top answer
I really think you have too much information coming before the subject of the sentence and the verb and complement ( Kharas urged Duncan to propose peace )
- I really think you have too much information coming before the subject of the sentence and the verb and complement ( Kharas urged Duncan to propose peace )
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2 Answers
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I really think you have too much information coming before the subject of the sentence and the verb and complement (Kharas urged Duncan to propose peace)
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I completely agree and revised the sentence into two sentences. Thanks for all your help.
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