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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
Sentence openings
Hi everyone,
I would love to hear your advice on a problem I'm having.
Here are two sentences,
1) Standing in the shadows, Lucas took a drag of his cigarette and checked his watch.
2) In the shadows, Lucas took a drag of his cigarette and checked his watch.
The first sentence starts with a present participial phrase, which is often considered bad practice because it can frustrate the reader not knowing who/what is standing in the shadows. In the second sentence, I've removed the participial, so presumably it would no longer be considered bad practice, but I think some of the effect is lost.
What do people think of this? Are there better ways to tidy up my PPPs without having every sentence follow a subject-verb-object structure? Any advice that anyone would like to offer would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks
Jess
I would love to hear your advice on a problem I'm having.
Here are two sentences,
1) Standing in the shadows, Lucas took a drag of his cigarette and checked his watch.
2) In the shadows, Lucas took a drag of his cigarette and checked his watch.
The first sentence starts with a present participial phrase, which is often considered bad practice because it can frustrate the reader not knowing who/what is standing in the shadows. In the second sentence, I've removed the participial, so presumably it would no longer be considered bad practice, but I think some of the effect is lost.
What do people think of this? Are there better ways to tidy up my PPPs without having every sentence follow a subject-verb-object structure? Any advice that anyone would like to offer would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks
Jess
Top answer
Both sentences look fine to me. I have never heard that it's a bad idea to start a sentence with a participle. By this logic, every sentence should begin with the subject.
- Both sentences look fine to me.
- I have never heard that it's a bad idea to start a sentence with a participle.
- By this logic, every sentence should begin with the subject.
- Otherwise the reader is "frustrated", as you put it.
- Isn't the reader frustrated by the second sentence as well since he doesn't immediately know what happened in the shadows?
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1 Answers
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Both sentences look fine to me. I have never heard that it's a bad idea to start a sentence with a participle. By this logic, every sentence should begin with the subject. Otherwise the reader is "frustrated", as you put it. Isn't the reader frustrated by the second sentence as well since he doesn't immediately know what happened in the shadows?
CB
CB
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