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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Grammar

Sentence OK?

As a result, of the 20,000 people who died, 65% were aged over 60 years old, which suggests that as an issue of health security, the elderly were most vulnerable.

is this sentence OK?
  

Top answer

Anonymous is this sentence OK? It can be made more concise and the reader can be made less impatient: Of the 20,000 deaths, 65% were over 60 years old, suggesting that the elderly were most vulnerable.

  • Anonymous is this sentence OK?
  • It can be made more concise and the reader can be made less impatient: Of the 20,000 deaths, 65% were over 60 years old, suggesting that the elderly were most vulnerable.
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1 Answers
0
Anonymousis this sentence OK?
It can be made more concise and the reader can be made less impatient:

Of the 20,000 deaths, 65% were over 60 years old, suggesting that the elderly were most vulnerable.

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