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Apprentice123 Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing

Sentence Help

Please let me know the problems in my sentence.

A student or school staff with a weapon, not properly stored, in his bag, can be accidentally fired, reaching someone.

Thanks
  

Top answer

A student or school staff with a weapon, not properly stored, in his bag, can be accidentally fired, reaching someone. Thanks Your sentence says that the person can be accidentally fired. You mean that a weapon that is not properly stored can be accidentally fired, although "discharged" is more of an accident.

— BarbaraPA

  • A student or school staff with a weapon, not properly stored, in his bag, can be accidentally fired, reaching someone.
  • Thanks Your sentence says that the person can be accidentally fired.
  • You mean that a weapon that is not properly stored can be accidentally fired, although "discharged" is more of an accident.
  • "Reaching someone" doesn't add any valuable information.
  • I think we can all understand the danger of an accidental gun shot in a school.
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3 Answers
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Apprentice123 .A student or school staff with a weapon, not properly stored, in his bag, can be accidentally fired, reaching someone. Thanks
Your sentence says that the person can be accidentally fired.

You mean that a weapon that is not properly stored can be accidentally fired, although "discharged" is more of an acciden
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You are saying that the student or staff member can be fired. That is not what you meant, I'm quite sure. The staff member could be fired, which means he/she could lose his/her job. Students cannot be fired. I think you meant that the weapon might fire or go off, and a bullet or other projectile might hit someone.
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BarbaraPA Apprentice123 .A student or school staff with a weapon, not properly stored, in his bag, can be accidentally fired, reaching someone. ThanksYour sentence says that the person can be accidentally fired. You mean that a weapon that is not properly stored can be accidentally fired, although "discharged" is more of an accident. "Reaching someone" doesn't add any val
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