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Tom Killen Posted 16 years ago
Grammar
Sentence grammar check/improvement
Hello,
I am using this sentence in a paper I am writing and want to know if the grammar is correct, or even better, how the sentence could be improved:
"In the story, the mayor reveals his corrupt side by asserting his right to have the town pay for his dentist bill."
l feel like it's a little too wordy, but don't really know how to improve it.
Thanks in advance.
-Tom
I am using this sentence in a paper I am writing and want to know if the grammar is correct, or even better, how the sentence could be improved:
"In the story, the mayor reveals his corrupt side by asserting his right to have the town pay for his dentist bill."
l feel like it's a little too wordy, but don't really know how to improve it.
Thanks in advance.
-Tom
Top answer
Hi Tom-- and welcome to English Forums. I think your sentence is basically fine. If I play with it, I might come up with this: In the story, the mayor reveals his corruptness by demanding that the town pay for his dentist bill.
- Hi Tom-- and welcome to English Forums.
- I think your sentence is basically fine.
- If I play with it, I might come up with this: In the story, the mayor reveals his corruptness by demanding that the town pay for his dentist bill.
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1 Answers
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Hi Tom-- and welcome to English Forums.
I think your sentence is basically fine. If I play with it, I might come up with this:
In the story, the mayor reveals his corruptness by demanding that the town pay for his dentist bill.
I think your sentence is basically fine. If I play with it, I might come up with this:
In the story, the mayor reveals his corruptness by demanding that the town pay for his dentist bill.
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