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Tom Killen Posted 16 years ago
Grammar

Sentence grammar check/improvement

Hello,

I am using this sentence in a paper I am writing and want to know if the grammar is correct, or even better, how the sentence could be improved:

"In the story, the mayor reveals his corrupt side by asserting his right to have the town pay for his dentist bill."

l feel like it's a little too wordy, but don't really know how to improve it.

Thanks in advance.

-Tom
  

Top answer

Hi Tom-- and welcome to English Forums. I think your sentence is basically fine. If I play with it, I might come up with this: In the story, the mayor reveals his corruptness by demanding that the town pay for his dentist bill.

  • Hi Tom-- and welcome to English Forums.
  • I think your sentence is basically fine.
  • If I play with it, I might come up with this: In the story, the mayor reveals his corruptness by demanding that the town pay for his dentist bill.
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1 Answers
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Hi Tom-- and welcome to English Forums.

I think your sentence is basically fine. If I play with it, I might come up with this:

In the story, the mayor reveals his corruptness by demanding that the town pay for his dentist bill.

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