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Agarista Posted 13 years ago
Business & Finance

Sentence correction

Hello,
the following sentence is from a CV and I am sure it sounds OK. I would be thankful if someone helped me with it. Thank you
- Coordinated the development of product portfolio that allowed    us to raise sales consistently at the end of each period, becoming the number one option on the market.
  

Top answer

Hi I think I would date it and put a couple of pronouns in; I'm not sure about "becoming" at the end ... - In 2012, I coordinated the development of the product portfolio that allowed us to raise sales consistently at the end of each period and we became the number one option on the market Dave

— Dave_anon

  • Hi I think I would date it and put a couple of pronouns in; I'm not sure about "becoming" at the end ...
  • - In 2012, I coordinated the development of the product portfolio that allowed us to raise sales consistently at the end of each period and we became the number one option on the market Dave
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2 Answers
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Hi

I think I would date it and put a couple of pronouns in; I'm not sure about "becoming" at the end ...

- In 2012, I coordinated the development of the product portfolio that allowed us to raise sales consistently at the end of each period and we became the number one option on the market

Dave
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Thank you very much, dave_anon. This was really helpful. I was told that when writing a CV, it is better to omit the pronoun; but I definitely like your version better.
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