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Jenn123 Posted 10 years ago
Grammar
Sentence
Hi, is the following sentence grammatically correct?
When one matures up and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insists on their feelings births a relationship none of them is able to forget.
When one matures up and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insists on their feelings births a relationship none of them is able to forget.
Top answer
I underlined the problem areas: When one matures up and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insists on their feelings births a relationship none of them is able to forget.
- I underlined the problem areas: When one matures up and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insists on their feelings births a relationship none of them is able to forget.
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13 Answers
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I underlined the problem areas:
When one matures up and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insists on their feelings births a relationship none of them is able to forget.
When one matures up and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insists on their feelings births a relationship none of them is able to forget.
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How about this :
When one matures and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insisting on their feelings birth a relationship no one will be able to forget.
When one matures and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insisting on their feelings birth a relationship no one will be able to forget.
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Jenn123How about this :When one matures and another stays childish, a pair of lovebirds who insisting on their feelings birth a relationship no one will be able to forget.You have successfully fixed two things, but "a pair of lovebirds who insisting on their feelings birth a relationship" still doesn't read correctly. The minimum fix would be to change "insis
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Since you are talking about two people, I'd say "one matures and the other stays childish" not "another."
I agree with GPY on not understanding what you mean by "insist on their feelings" and the use of "birth" there.
I agree with GPY on not understanding what you mean by "insist on their feelings" and the use of "birth" there.
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BarbaraPASince you are talking about two people, I'd say "one matures and the other stays childish" not "another."Yes, good point.
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Besides changing "insisting" to "insist," I think you can just remove the "who" and add commas.
...a pair of lovebirds, insisting on their feelings, birth a relationship...
...a pair of lovebirds, insisting on their feelings, birth a relationship...
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Thanks for all the feedback. Actually, once grown up they already split up but the memories never being able to forget.
Basically, this is the long summary:
The story begins as Yulia narrates her longtime love story with a neighbor boy, Rumi. Under Indonesia's political and societal changes, Yulia and Rumi grow up together and become lovebirds, persisting through hardships and de
Basically, this is the long summary:
The story begins as Yulia narrates her longtime love story with a neighbor boy, Rumi. Under Indonesia's political and societal changes, Yulia and Rumi grow up together and become lovebirds, persisting through hardships and de
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The short summary does not seem to reflect the longer text. The short summary makes it sound as if their relationship begins and/or survives despite his immaturity, while the longer text seems to imply that they split up because of it. Also, "no one will be able to forget" gives a rather different message from "preventing her from forgetting him completely". I think you need a rethink.
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