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New2grammar Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

sentence

The man shot at the gas tank and it exploded along with the other flammable materials, shooting pieces of wood 30 feet away from the scene.

Please correct the sentence. Thanks in advance.
  

Top answer

I don't especially like the use of the verb 'shoot' twice in the sentence. I also think you should limit the explosion to the gas tank. How about this: When the man shot at the gas tank, it exploded, hurling pieces of wood and other flammable material 30 feet.

  • I don't especially like the use of the verb 'shoot' twice in the sentence.
  • I also think you should limit the explosion to the gas tank.
  • How about this: When the man shot at the gas tank, it exploded, hurling pieces of wood and other flammable material 30 feet.
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4 Answers
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I don't especially like the use of the verb 'shoot' twice in the sentence. I also think you should limit the explosion to the gas tank. How about this:

When the man shot at the gas tank, it exploded, hurling pieces of wood and other flammable material 30 feet.
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Yankee, how would you rephrase the sentence to describe that the tank explosion causes a series of explosions from the adjacent flammable materials?
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How about this:
The man shot at the gas tank and it exploded, setting off a series of subsequent explosions and hurling debris as far as 30 feet.

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Yeah. That's great. Thanks Yankee!

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