Semicolon

Question

Hello Guys!
Tell me the semicolon is correctly placed between two ideas.
The two puffy pillows, with matching texture, sits at corner side of bed; reminding the pillow fights I had with my best friend, who often came for chit chat and study.

Old Man Gordon · Accepted Answer

It's not correct.

You need to have complete, independent clauses on each side of the semicolon.

The semicolon replaces conjunctions like 'and', when the connection is clear.

A simple change can make it more correct....

The two puffy pillows sit at the corner of the bed; they remind me of the pillow fights ...

Cute572 · Answer

Thanks Gordan!

The mid phrase we are skiping "with matching texture"?
Could you please also check this sentence. Its balanced ?
The relish colors of bed sheet are blending with the luminous sunrays, like rainbow rings and arousing the hidden beauty of my room.
underlined metaphor fits the context of sentence?

BarbaraPA · Answer

Hi Cute,

A lot of things don't fit here.

First, "relish" colors doesn't work. The lively colors, perhaps.

You need an article or a possessive before "bed sheets."

A solid object doesn't "blend" with the sun. It can glow in the sunlight, or, if it's shiny, shimmer.

Remove the comma before "like"

"Arousing" is also not the right word.

Why is the beauty hidden?

Cute572 · Answer

The relish colors of the bed sheet are blending with the luminous sunrays like rainbow rings and arousing the hidden beauty of my room.

An amber colors of the bed sheet... Ok ?
Well i m trying to blend bed sheet colors not bed sheet itself.
Arousing mean stimulating , encouraging or raising the hidden beauty of thing around. Need some other word ?

The word beauty doesn't fit?

BarbaraPA · Answer

Rainbows are many colors. Are these brightly striped sheet?

Cute572 · Answer

Hello GG!
Well i was trying to insert some how a metaphor. But it seemed awkward now as how can bed sheet colors and sunlight give rainbow in room.

I have rearranged it again and cutting the rainbow. Tell me it look like a sentence?
The luminous sunrays are brightening the chromatic colors of the bed sheet and thus nature has blended with the printed design of the sheet.
This bold words are fit in or need commas?
And whats exactly Texture mean? i assumed its design of surroundings. like kitchen tiles texture

Thanks!

Goodman · Answer

The two puffy pillows, with matching texture, sits at corner side of bed; reminding the pillow fights I had with my best friend, who often came for chit chat and study.

Hi cute,

Good to see you back! As I advised you before, fragments can not make sentences but they can be used to add context to the main sentence body. i.e.
Standing in heavy rain at he bus stop waiting over half an hour for her friend who never showed up, Jennifer subsequently was sick with a fever.
In this sentence, I have used 4 fragments (or phrases) to create a mental image of her, standing anxiously in the rain, kept looking at her watch desspite the downpour.

It’s important that you understand we are not try to scrutinize your creativity. But if we don’t point out the mistakes and the improper usages, then we take away the purpose of the forum.

Your descriptive writing requires the essential components which are absent: logic, the vision to see as the readers, structure and the right adjectives at the right place.

This is how it came to me: Is the texture of the pillows important to the description? What texture? Colors and patterns ? Fluffy pillows – not puffy.

Puffy is her eyes when a girl was crying for hours after she found out her boyfriend has another girlfriend.

Pillows are usually not placed at corners of beds, [decorative cushions] are.

Cute572 · Answer

Thanks for your welcome

Well Goodman really i m trying to write description but still not picking up the observing eye. The first thing came i wrote and rearrange to build somehow a complete sentence. Anyhow so Puffy doesn't go with Pillows, Fluffy pillow u suggests?
Corner also doesn't fit? then how i will say i mean where its exatly placed ? should i insert geometry terms to describe ?
I want to match its texture design with bed sheet. But now i have looked dictionary it say texture means feeling touch etc i don't understand how ?
And Mr Goodman, I am not angry for picking my mistakes. In fact i want to be corrected and become good in English grammar. You can imagine how frustrating it is to write description for the first time. So please don't mind it

Goodman · Answer

[The first thing came i wrote and rearrange to build somehow a complete sentence.it's the wrong approach! Anyhow so Puffy doesn't go with Pillows, Fluffy pillow u suggests
You are correct about your dictionary find. Texture is used in many contexts.
The texture of peanut butter on apple slices creates a unique sensation to my taste buds – How it feel to your mouth and pallet.

The texture of the silk pillow case makes me feel luxurious …how it feel against your skin

The texture of this steak is like burned rubber! – how it feels to your jaws and taste

I hope what I have posted is beneficial to you. You need to distinguish what adjectives work with what contexts. Otherwise, the images you try to paint can be awkward.

BarbaraPA · Answer

Cute, you really are taking the wrong approach. You are thinking of all the high-flying words you can, and you are reaching for metaphors that just don't work.You don't need "fancy" words to give a good description.

Try this: Sit in the middle of the floor of your room with your notebook. Look around. What do you see? What images come to mind, based on what you are looking at RIGHT THEN. Do you see the bits of dust lit up as the sun streams through the windows? Maybe they look like they are dancing to music you can't hear. (Maybe you're a better housekeeper than I am, and you don't have dust.)

The way the sun hits your bed -- does it make one spot light up more than others? Does it make the colors - and what ARE the colors? "chromatic colors" is meaningless - light up? Maybe it makes you think of a spotlight at a theater, illuminating a partciular performer, but there is no performance - only your favorite pillow, inert and soaking up the sun. Maybe the sun makes the colors seem to glow? Maybe it makes you think that what is missing is a cat, stretched out in the sunbeam, periodically shifting to keep up with the moving pane of sunlight.

Your thoughts are how the pillows make you think of pillow fights from sleepovers in the past is exactly the right approach. Flash back to giggling girls trying to be quiet as they parry like fencers with big, fluffy swords - THAT creates an image for your reader. "chromatic colors" and "hidden beauty" do not.

The point is that your writing should paint a picture of what you see. Don't reach for words that are not right for the situation.

Semicolon

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