Seeking comments on a rewritten sentence

Question

I would like to seek someone’s comment on the following sentences and whether they are the same meaning when the sentence was rewritten from sentences 1 to 2. ThanksFor the power outage, the ABC team will arrange to connect temporary batteries as precedence to support the equipment's power supply at the affected location if possible to maintain the equipment's power supply.For the power outage, the ABC will arrange to connect temporary batteries as precedence to support and maintain the equipment's power supply at the affected location if possible.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I cannot understand either one. Which circumstance are you writing about?

To respond to the current power outage, the ABC team will install and connect batteries to power the equipment at the affected location.
In the case of future power outages or brownouts, the ABC team will install and connect a "UPS" system with back-up batteries sufficient to power the equipment for two hours.

Clive · Answer

Where is #2?

For the power outage, ABC will connect temporary batteries to maintain the equipment's power supply..

Shreksbro · Answer

The use of the phrase "as precedence" makes no sense in your examples. Why is it there? Do you mean that the use of temporary batteries is not guaranteed? If so then "as prudent" or "as required" or "as appropriate" would make more sense.

If that is the intention then "if possible" becomes redundant, as you are already saying the batteries will only be used where the circumstances make it a reasonable solution (and if it is not possible, then it is not a reasonable solution).

However it is still a messy sentence. "the equipment's power supply at the affected location" really makes no sense either. Does "the equipment" have power supplies at multiple locations? One giant, singular piece of equipment with multiple power supplies?

Also, "the power outage" implies a power outage the reader is already familiar with. Are you discussing one real or theoretical instance in particular, or do you mean (as I suspect) any power outage in general?

You need to be careful with the word "the", as it can confuse readers when it is used incorrectly.

If my understanding of your intention is right, I would probably rewrite the sentence like this:

In the case of a power outage, the ABC will arrange to connect temporary batteries as appropriate to maintain the supply of power to equipment at the affected location.

Seeking comments on a rewritten sentence

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