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Mythical Lady Posted 20 years ago
School Lost
This poem is written by my friend dedicated to ME
She'd like to hear your comments
School Lost
As her height has not surpassed the fields flowers,
The child's fancy has surpassed the highest towers.
Running like a deer from field to another
She comes back to the lap of 'er mother
And never troubles her joy to lock,
Its doors by hands of silly clock.
Her name could draw the future hope,
She plays the swing in rosy robe,
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air.
At the time she had to go to school,
She jumped with joy, and thought it's cool
Put on her dress, and left at eight.
Her father led her to the gate,
"My dear daughter, this is the school"
She squinted and murmured "I'm not fool"!!
The stubborn child went forward with lag,
Dragging on the floor her empty bag.
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air.
She saw teachers and met the students
But none could win the junior content!
An innocent question was born in her brain
"when shall I get to school", asked in pain.
The time crawled on her impatient heart,
At last, it was the coach part,
Stood with her mates in that rank,
She stared at a bus and sank.
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air.
Without her the coach departed,
She waved good-bye in the bus as they parted,
Carrying her dreams from place to place,
Where she knew no way or face,
Till she was the only one left
She turned her head right and left.
A furious question moved again
"Where the hell is the school lane?"
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air
Thanks in advance
She'd like to hear your comments
School Lost
As her height has not surpassed the fields flowers,
The child's fancy has surpassed the highest towers.
Running like a deer from field to another
She comes back to the lap of 'er mother
And never troubles her joy to lock,
Its doors by hands of silly clock.
Her name could draw the future hope,
She plays the swing in rosy robe,
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air.
At the time she had to go to school,
She jumped with joy, and thought it's cool
Put on her dress, and left at eight.
Her father led her to the gate,
"My dear daughter, this is the school"
She squinted and murmured "I'm not fool"!!
The stubborn child went forward with lag,
Dragging on the floor her empty bag.
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air.
She saw teachers and met the students
But none could win the junior content!
An innocent question was born in her brain
"when shall I get to school", asked in pain.
The time crawled on her impatient heart,
At last, it was the coach part,
Stood with her mates in that rank,
She stared at a bus and sank.
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air.
Without her the coach departed,
She waved good-bye in the bus as they parted,
Carrying her dreams from place to place,
Where she knew no way or face,
Till she was the only one left
She turned her head right and left.
A furious question moved again
"Where the hell is the school lane?"
She has two braids of beautiful hair,
Her white ribbons dancing in the air
Thanks in advance
Top answer
" and "keep in mind that it will be as open to grammatical and structural examination as are essays, letters and other submissions to English Forums. " It's only when I read this I decide to post the poem…. BUT Alas Mister Micawber ….
- " and "keep in mind that it will be as open to grammatical and structural examination as are essays, letters and other submissions to English Forums.
- " It's only when I read this I decide to post the poem….
- BUT Alas Mister Micawber ….
- No criticism no admiration are posted here .
- I was soooo eager to hear from you particularly native speakers to give your comments on the poem… no matter how harsh they are!!
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3 Answers
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Hi
Mister Micawber wrote in his post for this section of poetry: "Posting your efforts here sets you open to both unrestrained admiration for your literary talents, and creative criticism from those who hold a stricter view of what poetry should be." and "keep in mind that it will be as open to grammatical and structural examin
Mister Micawber wrote in his post for this section of poetry: "Posting your efforts here sets you open to both unrestrained admiration for your literary talents, and creative criticism from those who hold a stricter view of what poetry should be." and "keep in mind that it will be as open to grammatical and structural examin
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As her height has not surpassed the fields flowers, (As not quite right here. You need to ge the meaning 'although' in here)
The child's fancy has surpassed the highest towers.
Running like a deer from field to another (one field to another)
She comes back to the lap of 'er mother ('er sounds a bit daft. Why did you decide to drop the h?)
The child's fancy has surpassed the highest towers.
Running like a deer from field to another (one field to another)
She comes back to the lap of 'er mother ('er sounds a bit daft. Why did you decide to drop the h?)
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The images of two braids of beautiful hair with white ribbons in the poem of your friend remind me of the memory of my childhood. The ribbons of braids of hair seems to fly like the petals of flowers before the breeze in everywhere in the poem.It's very romantic.I remember in my golden chilhood, I didn't have two braids but I had only a Pony tail. I want to have a response poem to your friend's p
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