Saying I Love You

Question

Hi,I mentioned that in movies, it is weird if someone say "I love you" soon. Why is that?Loving someone else is not bad, and even without knowing each other is not harmful. Maybe it seems he or she is not very mature. But is that  that inappropriate? (P.S. I wasn't sure this sentence (double that) is correct or common or not, please let me know your opinion)

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

What is your specific question, please.

Clive

Sheepincrisis · Answer

Saying it without knowing somebody can be inappropriate because, well, what is it that you love? It can come across as either insincere or shallow; it's better to find a way to say it that more accurately captures what you're feeling.

Regarding the double "that", as far as I know it isn't incorrect, but it's cumbersome. "But is it that inappropriate?" is clearer, for example.

USF · Answer

Hi Clive.
I meant liking someone is not bad, but loving someone should be in specific conditions, as I know. According to movies I've seen, in a first date I can say I like you, it is not bad, whereas if in the first date I say I love you. It would be weird. I cannot understand. My guesses: love is something on level boyfriend-girlfriend or marriage. Why you shouldn't say I love you? Because you haven't enough knowledge from your date and it is not appropriate if you say I want to have a relationship. But actually, I see no specific differences, only level of liking. I need to know clear difference.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I only give advice about language, not about love.

Clive

USF · Answer

sheepincrisisit's better to find a way to say it that more accurately captures what you're feeling.

Thanks for your reply, but I didn't understand why you used "it that". Is "that" necessary?

USF · Answer

CliveI only give advice about language, not about love.

Thank you Clive. But I want to know difference between "liking" and "loving".

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I like Coke.
I love Pepsi. I like it a lot.

I like Mary.
I love Betty. Your heart will tell you the difference.

Clive

Leah S · Answer

youzouI want to know difference between "liking" and "loving".

Matters of the heart are difficult to govern.

But usually what is depicted is that the person says "I love you" too early, by which they mean they are in love with the other person. It's not inherently bad, but it is perceived as "too soon" and is unusual. How do they know? They probably don't know enough to make, for what of a better term, "an informed decision".

It makes the other person feel awkward as well, because they cannot say it back, becausethey barely know each other. They might also wonder if the speaker is aiming for sexual advances, trying to skip to that part of the relationship.

If they say "I like you", then that is generally perceived as cute and flirty and means they want to get to know the other person better so that they can fall in love. What I've just said is pretty much what you were guessing, but I tried to put a clearer separation between them... :/

Another part is just automatic; we have come to put "I love you" on a sort of pedestal, a milestone, so to bring it out too early is just startling because it's unusual.

USF · Answer

Thanks Leah S. You've been very kind.

Does it stand for Leah(Leia) Skywalker?

Yes I know that it sounds awkward for who has just heard it, but I didn't know why. I only guessed one reason.

You are telling me that 1) it is awkward because it is too soon, and he/she(probably she

) can't say I love you in return. 2) I think I get it.He(probably), by saying "I love you", wants to skip and get to the third base! And that is actually not pretty. So, "I love you" express pretty intense emotions. Thanks for your time and explanations.

Leah S · Answer

You're welcome.

No it doesn't! I hadn't thought of that.

I did get called Leia sometimes when people didn't hear my name right.

Saying I Love You

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