SAT Essay, please correct me.

Please give me some advice or correction, thank you.

Assignment: Does Progress reduce the number of problems in the world, or does solving old problems just lead to new ones?

Compares today's world to that of our history, progress has played a very important role in solving problems, but also, in causing many problems. From the start of Industrial Revolution, factories and different invention helped to advance our life and to solve some difficult problems, however, we've been depriving our planet's resource, and contaminating this beautiful planet ever since then. Although we've solved the limited energy problem with nuclear power, we should really understand the devastating danger of this "power"
The Industrial Revolution first began at eighteen centuries, England, the place where abundant of resource and manpower were available, and soon, different parts of the world also began to industrialize. No doubt, Industrial Revolution changed our life. We've got various inventions to facilitate our lives and solve our problems, such as Telephone, Airplanes, Light bulb etc. With telephone, we no longer need to communicate through letters or mail that takes months to reach. We no longer need to travel only by boat, and with light bulb, we've lighten our city and life like never before. But all these come at a cost. All the waste and pollution factories created impact our health, and our planet. We are destroying forests and tree to produce papers, but no one seems to care about the living space of animals. We are taking the so called "natural oil" from the deep crust of our planet through machines, but what if the process causes contamination to water ? What if there are no more to take ?
To live in modern day city, we need heat and electricity. The nuclear plant does the job to provide what we need. We all know what nuclear power is, the power that America once used to end a war, is the same power we're using to create energy and electricity today. Nuclear plant did help to solve our limited energy problem, but at the same time, it could be a problem itself. March of 2011, Japan faced a series of catastrophe. First an earthquake, then a tsunami, and last but no least, the nuclear plant disaster. The nuclear plant in one of the cities of Japan was damaged during the earthquake. This event soon became a global news, since a leak of the dangerous chemicals would create a tremendous detriment to the area and possible to the oceans we shared among every nations. Eventually, the threat was subdued, but there were still evidences showing how it affected the ecosystem deeply.
As people pursue for a better life, we become more progressive. Many of the progress are good and help to solve problems around the world, but we must be concern about the problems these progresses has brought along the way. As we progress, we must be aware of the problems we'll created for our next generation.