Same verb, different subjects - clause reduction

Question

a. Casey dressed as a mermaid, I a pirate and Claire a martian.

b. Casey dressed as a mermaid, I, a pirate and Claire, a martian.

Do you accept either of the above - the only difference between them being the additional commas.

Or do you think they are both a bit too reduced?

Enoon · Accepted Answer

Believe it or not, you need one more comma (and a capital letter): Casey dressed as a mermaid, I, a pirate, and Claire, a Martian.

RandomGuy · Answer

Casey dressed as a mermaid, I [dressed up as] a pirate, and Claire [dressed up as] a martian.

I don't see any sense in using a comma to substitute omitted words. It's the same business as The problem is [that] I don't have a car. No comma is necessary.

Enoon · Answer

Aspara GusI don't see any sense in using a comma to substitute omitted words.

The Chicago Manual of Style sees sense in it, and that's the longstanding convention, anyway. They use semicolons between the clauses, but that looks like overkill in all but the most formal writing. "Comma indicating ellipsis. A comma is often used to indicate the omission of a word or words readily understood from the context."

English 1b3 · Answer

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RandomGuy · Answer

enoonThe Chicago Manual of Style sees sense in it, …

Thanks for telling me. Now I know which style guide not to pick up when I might need one.

In any case, another reason I wouldn't use those commas in the OP's sentence is that they make the noun phrases look like appositives.

Enoon · Answer

Aspara GusThanks for telling me. Now I know which style guide not to pick up when I might need one.

I can't imagine what your problem is. The structure itself is at fault, not the poor little commas, who are just doing their job. I've seen that sort of thing all my life. That's how it's done. "I gave Linda a necklace, Debbie, a bracelet, and Anna, a rat." The Chicago would have that "I gave Linda a necklace; Debbie, a bracelet; and Anna, a rat.", but I find the semicolons too intrusive.

You must admit that people will express themselves in that format. How would you punctuate that?

RandomGuy · Answer

enoonHow would you punctuate that?

I gave Linda a necklace, Debbie a bracelet, and Anna a rat.

I find this simple and easy to read. I can't imagine the need for additional commas, let alone semicolons.

Enoon · Answer

Different strokes for different folks.

Anonymous · Answer

it will be Casey dressed as a mermaid, Claire as a martain and me as a pirate

English 1b3 · Answer

enoon"I gave Linda a necklace, Debbie, a bracelet, and Anna, a rat."

The commas here appear odd to me. The placement of the commas suggest the words omitted follow the objects Debbie and Anna, which is not the case.

In my topic sentence, the commas follow the subject, rightfully showing the omitted words come after the subject.

In my opinion, the commas you have used in your sentence are there only to show a pause in speech, and I don't think that is reason enough to include a comma (comma placement is based on rules).

Same verb, different subjects - clause reduction

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