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Contiluo Posted 11 years ago
Vocabulary

ryokan

Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

Last July, a tour group from Taiwan took a package tour to Nasu, Japan. They stayed at a local ryokan, a type of traditional Japanese inn with a distinctive charm. The host gave them a hospitable reception on their arrival. Unexpectedly, two young men of the group regarded the latticed paper windows as a punch-and-win game, wreaking dreadful havoc on the paper windows by poking, piercing, thrusting holes. After a night, the paper windows were torn to shreds, and the earlier artistic and refined sliding doors on the four sides of the room were defaced beyond recognition. Witnessing this repulsive scene, the hostess was completely blown away by the misdeeds of her bad customers and was crying with vexation.
  

Top answer

The ideas are clear, but I would make some changes to improve the style or clarity. Here are my suggestions: Last July, a tour group from Taiwan took a package tour to Nasu, Japan. They stayed at a local ryokan, a type of traditional Japanese inn with a distinctive charm.

  • The ideas are clear, but I would make some changes to improve the style or clarity.
  • Here are my suggestions: Last July, a tour group from Taiwan took a package tour to Nasu, Japan.
  • They stayed at a local ryokan, a type of traditional Japanese inn with a distinctive charm.
  • The host gave them a hospitable reception on their arrival.
  • Unexpectedly, Unfortunately , two young men of the group regarded the latticed paper windows as a punch-and-win game, wreaking dreadful havoc on the paper windows by poking, piercing, and thrusting holes in them .
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1 Answers
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The ideas are clear, but I would make some changes to improve the style or clarity. Here are my suggestions:

Last July, a tour group from Taiwan took a package tour to Nasu, Japan. They stayed at a local ryokan, a type of traditional Japanese inn with a distinctive charm. The host gave them a hospitable reception on their arrival. Unexpectedly, Unfortunately, two

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