Run-on sentences?

Question

Technically, no, these aren't run-on sentences - I'm not even sure what the technical/grammatical term for them is. I'm editing a large business document and keeping coming across what I would consider (kind of?) run-on sentences:

E.g., "This approach makes sense if it is critical to be very precise, if small changes in a metric would radically alter your plans."

The same problem came up only two sentences later:

"In such situations you you are interested in whether the measures you are using are valid, whether the measures accurately capture what you want them to capture."

I've been instructed to edit only for things that are unequivocally WRONG. So while I'm dying to turn those commas into dashes or something to make it more readable, I don't think anything about these is actually wrong - what do you think, Internet?

*Note: I'm well aware that the wording in these sentences is generally awful, but as I said, I have been explicitly asked not to edit for flow/style/clarity so rewording the sentences to simply "sound better" isn't an option. I just want to know whether these examples are grammatically incorrect.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

AnonymousI'm dying to turn those commas into dashes or something

Don't do that.

Anonymousto make it more readable

They are already eminently readable; they are fine.

Anonymous the wording in these sentences is generally awful

No, not at all—except for the extra 'you'.

Anonymous I just want to know whether these examples are grammatically incorrect.

They are fine and common. Let them be.

Clive · Answer

Incorrect, and unclear in meaning..

GPY · Answer

Obviously this one is a matter of opinion! For what it's worth, I would use dashes.

Clive · Answer

To me, a dash would not adequately clarify the meaning or correct the structure.

I'd probably insert 'and' or 'or', after asking the writer to explain which he/she means.

Clive.

CalifJim · Answer

AnonymousI just want to know whether these examples are grammatically incorrect.

As already mentioned, the 'you you' is not correct. 'critical to be very precise' is debatable, I'd say, but that may be usage rather than grammar. So the grammar is correct.

AnonymousI'm dying to turn those commas into dashes

Well, yes, but this contradicts your statement quoted at the top of this post. You say you only want to know about the grammar. Commas and dashes are not grammar; they are punctuation.

In matters of punctuation, it's best to choose a particular style manual and stick to whatever it says there because there are often differences in opinion about how best to punctuate such structures.

Personally, I have seen and used both commas and dashes in various texts when I've run into that structure, but I've never really needed to look it up in any style manual. Sorry. You'll have to do that part yourself.

CJ

GPY · Answer

Cliveafter asking the writer to explain which he/she means.

For me personally, I don't feel doubtful about the intended meaning. I see the second "if ..." or "whether ..." as a restatement or elaboration, in different terms, of the first.

CalifJim · Answer

GPYI see the second "if ..." or "whether ..." as a restatement or elaboration, in different terms, of the first.

That's how I read it, too.

CJ

Run-on sentences?

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