Revision of a motivational letter

Hello,

This is the first draft of my letter, i tried to stay concise and to the point, though i think i may have overdone it. I'm aware that my grammar and vocabulary is abit crummy so don't hesitate to point it out. I tried to follow the general guidelines and other samples so i don't know if my personal input isnt to scarce . Thank you in advance.

___________________

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am applying to your Bachelors program of „Environmental engineering“ starting in Spetember 2012. My career ambition

is to become an engineer, specialized in sustainable energy.

I am currently studying in high school with mathematics, physics, Lithuanian language, English language and history as my major.Because I still haven‘t taken my exams, you will receive my yearly grades from the previous year. I will be taking my national exams of all my majors, except for history in five months. I am currently ranked second in my school and will try to graduate accordingly.

My biggest academic achievments reside in English language. I‘ve been studying English for over 13 years and ive been constantly ranked first in my school English language olympiads as well as consistently ranking in the top 10 of the city wide competitions. I will be taking my IELTS exam on the 12th of January and i expect to get excellent results.

Complimenting my academic attainments are my skills of leadership and communication. During my school years I‘ve gained experience in leadership by managing and leading a lot of events that required oratory and critical thinking. To add, I have been an acitve member of our school board for the last couple of years, which helped me develop my problem solving and communication skills.

I have been decided to pursue this proffesion for the last couple of years. I was first introduced to this field of study after visiting conventions at my local universities two years ago. I was emmediatly interested in associating my further education with engineering, because i was always fascinated with the idea of efficiency and thinking out of the box. Since then I have spent a lot of my free time deepening my knowledge of engineering and applied physics through literature and various media outlets. I am sure that these efforts will help me in my future studies. I chose to specialize in sustainable energy because I see a lot of future potential in this field of study and like the idea of working with the earth, instead of fighting against her.

I chose your university because of your widely acclaimed educational system, your focus on innovative studies and well developed facilities. From reading student feedback i can say that i am confident with my decision and i am sure that with the high level of education you offer, i will be able to pursue my passion and fulfil my future goals

I am sure that i will meet and exceed your expectations, whether it is academic excellence, my motivation towards the subject or my community building skills. I also hope that my international background will bring diversity to your program. All in all, i will make everything in my power to leave you satisfied with my results.

Thank you for considering my application and i look forward to your reply.

Sincerely yours,