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Lcchang Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Revision needed

0Could anyone please take a look at the following passage and make necessary revision for me? Thanks a lot. LCChang02br
02br
00Around 3:30 pm yesterday afternoon, a robbery occurred at the downtown First Federal Bank. Two robbers raided it and stole 3 million NT dollars. According to the police investigation, both robbers wore sunglasses, face masks and helmets. They were all about the same height, around 175 centimeters tall. One of them had black straight hair while the other one had an unusual dyed blond curly hair. Both of them had black jackets on and their pants were all in blue. The plump-looking robber wore a pair of white sneakers, and the sandals were worn by the skinny one. After robbing the bank, they ran away on their motorcycle and disappeared at the street corner within 30 seconds. Fortunately no one was hurt in this incident. This is the second robbery case reported this year by the city police.0-
  

Top answer

0 01blockquote 01cite 10Lcchang12cite 10Could anyone please take a look at the following passage and make necessary revision for me? Thanks a lot. LCChang12br 12br 10Around 3:30 pm yesterday afternoon, a robbery occurred at the downtown First Federal Bank.

  • 0 01blockquote 01cite 10Lcchang12cite 10Could anyone please take a look at the following passage and make necessary revision for me?
  • Thanks a lot.
  • LCChang12br 12br 10Around 3:30 pm yesterday afternoon, a robbery occurred at the downtown First Federal Bank.
  • Two robbers raided it and stole 3 million NT dollars.
  • According to the police investigation, 11b 11u 10both12u 12b 10 robbers wore sunglasses, face masks and helmets.
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4 Answers
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0 01blockquote
01cite10Lcchang12cite10Could anyone please take a look at the following passage and make necessary revision for me? Thanks a lot. LCChang12br
12br
10Around 3:30 pm yesterday afternoon, a robbery occurred at the downtown First Federal Bank. Two robbers raided it and stole 3 million NT dollars. According to the police i
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0 01blockquote
01cite10Feebs1112cite11blockquote
11cite20Lcchang22cite22br
20Could anyone please take a look at the following passage and make necessary revision for me? Thanks a lot. LCChang22br
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20Around 3:30 pm yesterday afternoon, a robbery occurred at the downtown First Federa
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0 01font00How many robbers? 01font00Two. Something wrong with "both"? Or would it be ok if I crossed out "all"? 01font00Nothing wrong with "both" - but "all" would imply more than two, so yes, delete it.02br
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0Million thanks.02br
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00LCChang0-

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