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Carlagee Posted 19 years ago
Will some one please check my paragraph that I revised. The first is the original and the second is what i did.
Revising a Paragraph
On the lines below revise the paragraph so that (1) stringy and wordy sentences are corrected, (2) sentences have varied beginnings, and (3) simple sentences are combined into compound and complex sentences
Berthe Morisot was a French painter, and she was part of the movement called Impressionism, and it tool place in the nineteenth century. Edgar Degas, Edouard Manet, Claude Monet, and Auguste Renoir were her colleagues in the movement, and they greatly respected her work, in fact she was the only woman invited to join them. In the first impressionist painters. For example, in one painting a woman appears in a white robe. Called The Bath. Many other colors appear within the white of the robe, and they include shades of pink, green, beige, and light purple, and they blend, and they make shadows and creases appear in the robe. This arresting, dramatic, incredible, masterful piece of painted art is delightful and marvelous to the eye.
Berthe Morisot was a French painter, and she was part of the movement called Impressionism. It took place in the nineteenth century.
Edgar Degas, Edouard Manet, Claude Monet, and Auguste Renoir were her colleagues in the movement. They greatly respected her work, in fact she was the only woman invited to join them in the first impressionist painters. For example, in one painting a woman appears in a white robe called “The Bath“. Many other colors appear within the white of the robe and they include shades of; pink, green, beige, and light purple. They blend and they make shadows and creases appear in the robe. This arresting, dramatic, incredible, masterful piece of painted art is delightful and marvelous to the eye.
Essay & Composition Writing
Revising Paragraph
Will some one please check my paragraph that I revised. The first is the original and the second is what i did.
Revising a Paragraph
On the lines below revise the paragraph so that (1) stringy and wordy sentences are corrected, (2) sentences have varied beginnings, and (3) simple sentences are combined into compound and complex sentences
Berthe Morisot was a French painter, and she was part of the movement called Impressionism, and it tool place in the nineteenth century. Edgar Degas, Edouard Manet, Claude Monet, and Auguste Renoir were her colleagues in the movement, and they greatly respected her work, in fact she was the only woman invited to join them. In the first impressionist painters. For example, in one painting a woman appears in a white robe. Called The Bath. Many other colors appear within the white of the robe, and they include shades of pink, green, beige, and light purple, and they blend, and they make shadows and creases appear in the robe. This arresting, dramatic, incredible, masterful piece of painted art is delightful and marvelous to the eye.
Berthe Morisot was a French painter, and she was part of the movement called Impressionism. It took place in the nineteenth century.
Edgar Degas, Edouard Manet, Claude Monet, and Auguste Renoir were her colleagues in the movement. They greatly respected her work, in fact she was the only woman invited to join them in the first impressionist painters. For example, in one painting a woman appears in a white robe called “The Bath“. Many other colors appear within the white of the robe and they include shades of; pink, green, beige, and light purple. They blend and they make shadows and creases appear in the robe. This arresting, dramatic, incredible, masterful piece of painted art is delightful and marvelous to the eye.
Top answer
I'll highlight the parts that are too wordy or need revision for other reasons. Carlagee Revising a Paragraph On the lines below revise the paragraph so that (1) stringy and wordy sentences are corrected, (2) sentences have varied beginnings, and (3) simple sentences are combined into compound and complex sentences Berthe Morisot was a French painter, and she was part of the movement called Impressionism. It took place in the nineteenth century.
- I'll highlight the parts that are too wordy or need revision for other reasons.
- Carlagee Revising a Paragraph On the lines below revise the paragraph so that (1) stringy and wordy sentences are corrected, (2) sentences have varied beginnings, and (3) simple sentences are combined into compound and complex sentences Berthe Morisot was a French painter, and she was part of the movement called Impressionism.
- It took place in the nineteenth century.
- Edgar Degas, Edouard Manet, Claude Monet, and Auguste Renoir were her colleagues in the movement .
- They greatly respected her work , in fact she was the only woman invited to join them in the first impressionist painters .
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1 Answers
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I'll highlight the parts that are too wordy or need revision for other reasons.
Carlagee
Revising a Paragraph
On the lines below revise the paragraph so that (1) stringy and wordy sentences are corrected, (2) sentences have varied beginnings, and (3) simple sentences are combined into compound and complex sentences
Berthe Mor
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