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Daden1789 Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Revised if needed. Please and thank you. God bless all of you

An Ohio man is in jail today after he raped a 19 year-old female in the parking lot of Ohio State University early last week.
McNeese police arrested Tyler Smith and charged him with raping an 18 year-old female late Tuesday evening when she was walking to her vehicle.
It is believed that the young lady was getting into her vehicle; when she was grabbed and pushed to the ground by Smith and eventually raped right on the Ohio State University campus.
"Wow, I was shocked when I heard this because this is something that we don't hear or worry about on this campus," said David Ross junior at Ohio State University.
Now, this is not Smith first time being arrested. He is his second arrest in less than a week. Leger was first arrested late last week for showing pornography to minors. "I am glad that they caught this guy. I never thought that this would happen at this school. The things that I heard that this guy did are inexcusable. I will try my best not to be walking myself on campus at night", Nate Robinson, sophomore at Ohio State University.
(Precautions quote)
Tyler Smith was booked today and his bond is set at $700,000.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas: An Ohio man is in jail today after he raped a 19 year -old female in the parking lot of Ohio State University early last week. McNeese police arrested Tyler Smith and charged him with raping an 18 year -old female late Tuesday evening when she was walking to her vehicle. It is believed that the young lady was getting into her vehicle; when she was grabbed and pushed to the ground by Smith and eventually raped right on the Ohio State University campus .

  • I have underlined some problem areas: An Ohio man is in jail today after he raped a 19 year -old female in the parking lot of Ohio State University early last week.
  • McNeese police arrested Tyler Smith and charged him with raping an 18 year -old female late Tuesday evening when she was walking to her vehicle.
  • It is believed that the young lady was getting into her vehicle; when she was grabbed and pushed to the ground by Smith and eventually raped right on the Ohio State University campus .
  • "Wow, I was shocked when I heard this because this is something that we don't hear or worry about on this campus," said David Ross junior at Ohio State University .
  • Now, this is not Smith first time being arrested.
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2 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas:

An Ohio man is in jail today after he raped a 19 year-old female in the parking lot of Ohio State University early last week.

McNeese police arrested Tyler Smith and charged him with raping an 18 year-old female late Tuesday evening when she was walking to her vehicle.

It is believed that the young lady was getti
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in a parking lot at Ohio State University (I suspect there is more than one parking lot.)

Who are "McNeese police"? There's a McNeese State University in Lousiana, but there's no "McNeese, Ohio," that I can find.

I think it would be difficult to rape someone while they're walking. Perhaps he accosted her while she was walking. You need to c

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