Revise Sponsorship letter

Hey Everybody,

I just joined your community but have used it several times to answer my writing questions. It is a great source! Everyboy is very knowledgeable and helpful. I wanted to see if anybody could look over my letter and revise it for me. It is a sponsorship letter asking for contributions to fund my non profit organization. I was unsure how to deliver a letter that asks for money so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Also what type of closing lines should I use?


Hello! My name is Charla Wacker and I have been appointed as the very first Miss Rodeo Virginia. I have also been afforded the opportunity to compete for Miss Rodeo America 2009. The Miss Rodeo America pageant is held at the National Finals Rodeo in Las Vegas, Nevada. This competition exists for the purpose of selecting a young lady to serve as an official spokesperson for the sport of professional rodeo, educating the public and creating awareness about the sport, its sponsors and its opportunities.

Embracing the western tradition in Virginia, I live and work on a working horse ranch. For me, rodeo is not only a passion but a lifestyle. Our family ranch focuses on team roping, raising cattle dogs, and working cows through the use of our ranch horses. I work hard riding and training my string of horses and maintaining the ranch. All the while, cooking the family meals, cleaning, and helping with household chores. To me, it is all in a day’s work. In addition, I am a four year varsity college athlete. I earned scholarships every year both academically and physically playing softball for the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. There, I earned a Bachelor’s degree in Biology, focusing on the agriculture preservation. I greatly enjoy a challenge, and anything I do is approached with vigor, determination, I will not stop until the job is done right.

As I approach this next phase in my life, representing Virginia in the Miss Rodeo America Pageant 2009, I look to give all that I have to the competition. This endeavor would not be possible without the gracious financial support from our sponsors. Sponsors of this non-profit organization help maintain the business operation, produce the state pageant each year and support the activities of Miss Rodeo Virginia. By sponsoring me for the 2009 year, you will be contributing to bringing some east coast prestige to Miss Rodeo America. . There are very few east coast competitors and I want to take Vegas by storm. Your tax deductible contribution will not only be greatly appreciated but will also enable me to represent Virginia as the state’s first Lady of Rodeo. Please note, that your sponsorship will also earn you acclaim in the sport of professional rodeo and our western heritage. It is not about the size of the contribution; it is about relishing in the opportunity to garner new experiences and being apart of what will become a predominant Virginia tradition.

Thanks for the help!!