Review of Transcription

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Dear Teachers,I transcribed the first part of ‘One Fine Day’, a radio program.I would appreciate it if you could review my transcription after listening to the audio in the link below:171017https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Dnyx9eEcZMvkSceMWGBcl40W7E6qmc5Y Sometimes, do you ever feel so exhausted and drained? Even when there doesn't seem to be a good reason to be? Apparently, this is often because we have to force ourselves to hide our true feelings and pretend. Pretending to like something when you really don't. Pretending to be okay when you're really not. We don't always notice it, but pretending is set to take a lot of mental energy. Some say patience is a virtue that we just have to bite the bullet, get through it, but sometimes you also need to give yourself a break, cut yourself some slack, be honest for you, and here, especially it's okay to even *** a little. I'm Lena Park and this is one fine day.171018https://drive.google.com/open?id=1TL0qZjK8DTaeOQx8Z85-luQaK9AqGt4s Even when going somewhere for the first time ever, these days we rarely get lost while driving thanks to GPS navigation. “Go straight, turn right!” do as the machine says and Voilà, we arrive at our destination! But because we depend so much on GPS, it's now become hard to find our own way without it even if we have gone the same way before. After mindlessly following its directions, if without it, it's hard to remember where we made a turn or what was around what corner. It's instances like these that show that convenience is sometimes overrated. So much of what's worth remembering are now white for memories for convenience sake. I'm Lena Park and this is one fine day.171019https://drive.google.com/open?id=1gBo5S1FM9jVgcF5GdQNEDWz0D1hFXkL3 Sometimes the right thing is not the right thing to say. For example, when I'm venting out of anger or frustration, if the listener says, *** **** irrational change your perspective, that would just be adding fuel to the fire. When we vent because we're angry or upset at something or someone, we're not exactly looking for a cool and rational assessment of the situation. Most of the times, we vent because we just need to let it out of our systems and it’s all the better the listener understands how we feel and that we just need a shoulder to lean on - no matter how upset or tired - knowing that there's someone who would be on my side no matter what. That can make a world of difference. Doesn’t it? “Hey, I am on your side.”   I'm Lena Park and this is one fine day.I think everyone has had that one friend that's cool. You know the one who's always seemed playing and never once seen studying and yet when the grades come out, he's always at the top, leaving everyone wondering what is he a genius? But I think most of the times, the truth was that he was just never seen putting in the work. It's easiest to be envious of what little we can see, but usually what we see is just the tip of an iceberg when you look into how people got to where they are, we learned that there's little to be envious about. The hardships, the hard work, the persistence and effort. Perhaps what we really should focus on it is the process and not the result - like how Monday through Thursday was an arduous process and Friday is result that we've been waiting for. I'm Lina part and this is one fine day.171023https://drive.google.com/open?id=1cOXBSj68jLJhsvCVKGbj3mTbsryyC0Ec Everyone tackles their problems in different ways. Take for example dealing with stress. Some people say they eat their stress away, while others say a good night sleep does the trick. Some people turn to Fitness, going hiking or working out harder than ever in order to get rid of that stress. When facing a problem, it is indeed important to solve the problem as soon as possible. But at the same time, I think how you solve the problem is just as important. Sometimes if problems are unhandled right, ***** **** shortcuts are taken, well, while the initial problem might get solved, one My have unwittingly started a whole new problem, starting this vicious circle, no? One bad choice leading to the next one then the next one. Over starting a whole new week today, so I hope you all become the week on the right foot in good spirits that hopefully leading to the next **** **** the next good day.  I'm Lina part and this is one fine day.I hope to get your kind feedback regarding any punctuation, typos or anything else.Thanks and best regards,David Kim

GPY · Accepted Answer

I looked at the first one. It is nearly all correct.

Sometimes, do you ever feel so exhausted and drained? Even when there doesn't seem to be a good reason to be? Apparently, this is often because we have to force ourselves to hide our true feelings and pretend. Pretending to like something when you really don't. Pretending to be okay when you're really not. We don't always notice it, but pretending is said to take up a lot of mental energy. Some say patience is a virtue, and that we just have to bite the bullet, get through it, but sometimes you also need to give yourselves a break, cut yourselves some slack, be honest for you, and here, especially, it's okay to even whine a little. I'm Lena Park and this is one fine day.

It is a bit tricky to know how best to punctuate in the area of "for you".

GPY · Answer

Second one:

“Go straight, turn right!”, just do as the machine says and Voilà, ...

So much of what's worth remembering are now wiped from our memories for convenience's sake.

(grammatically it should be "is now wiped")

GPY · Answer

???Sometimes the right thing is not the right thing to say. For example, when I'm venting out of anger or frustration, if the listener says, *** **** irrational change your perspective, that would just be adding fuel to the fire. When we vent because we're angry or upset at something or someone, we're not exactly looking for a cool and rational assessment of the situation. Most of the times, we vent because we just need to let it out of our systems and it’s all the better the listener understands how we feel and that we just need a shoulder to lean on - no matter how upset or tired - knowing that there's someone who would be on my side no matter what. That can make a world of difference. Doesn’t it? “Hey, I am on your side.” I'm Lena Park and this is one fine day.

if the listener says "You're being irrational, change your perspective", ...
(strictly this is a comma splice, but I think the alternatives look a bit fussy)

Well, that can make a world of difference, doesn’t it?
(grammatically should be "can't it?")

Hey, I'm on your side.
(quotation marks not necessary)

You have used hyphens (-) where dashes are needed. In casual writing you often see this, but in proper typography there is a difference.

GPY · Answer

???This link doesn't work. It could be that the forum has trashed it. The obvious fixes that I tried, such as deleting the space, didn't work.

Edit: Oh, OK, I see you posted a replacement link later.

GPY · Answer

I think everyone has had that one friend that's cool. You know the one who's always seen playing and never once seen studying, and yet when the grades come out, he's always at the top, leaving everyone wondering: what is he, a genius? But I think most of the times, the truth was that he was just never seen putting in the work. It's easiest to be envious of what little we can see, but usually what we see is just the tip of an iceberg. When you look into how people got to where they are, we learn that there's little to be envious about. The hardships, the hard work, the persistence, effort. Perhaps what we really should focus on is the process and not the result – like how Monday through Thursday was an arduous process and Friday is the result that we've been waiting for. I'm Lena Park and this is one fine day.

It does sound as if she might say "learned", but I think she meant "learn". It's hard to tell if there is supposed to be a word between "persistence" and "effort".

I'm not sure whether "one fine day" is the title of this series of little homilies. If it is then it should be capitalised: "One Fine Day".

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