Review of Theatre Scene

For a college theatre appreciation class, I have to write a short scene to be played out in front of the class. The topic is a conversation you have had in your head, but never in real life. The scene I wrote is a stretch on the topic assigned. It is an inside joke with my family that I have an addition to shopping and going to the mall, so in this sense, the scene I have written is a future I have envisioned but never experienced in real life.

Would you please read it and see what you think? I feel like I am a very strong essay and short story writer, but I have no experience in creative play writing and I must say, It is significantly harder than it looks. Oh, and the I am still contemplating the title.

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MELODY: a proper, elderly lady and ex-shopaholic who has dedicated her life to curing others

EMMY: a young girl whose addiction to shopping has left her penniless



MELODY-

“It’s that time again, folks! Gather around, Gather around. (rings bell) I’m glad you could all find time out of your busy, busy lives to come to OSA tonight. I’m happy to see some familiar faces in the crowd…hey Brittney…hey Trish!...and Oh, look…a few news ones too. Well, let me open by saying that we here at Over Shoppers Anonymous welcome everyone, and we understand just how hard it is to overcome an addiction to shopping, but we guarantee that everyone can be cured in time. With that, let’s begin! You, with the orange sweater, would you like to start by introducing yourself?



EMMY-

(stands up slowly) “Oh, alright…I suppose. Ok, well hello everybody…my name is Emmy and I’m an alcoholic.”



MELODY-

“..um Emmy, sorry to interrupt, but this is an OSA, not an AAA meeting. I don’t know what you…”



EMMY-

“Wait, I meant SHOPaholic, sorry. I forgot that meeting isn’t until tomorrow. ”



MELODY-

“ Alright….ok, then. Everyone, say Hi Emmy! Now, Emmy…You have taken the first step towards taking control of your life by showing up to this meeting, and by admitting you have a problem. In order to take the next step I think is it of the upmost importance that we get to the root of this problem…could you elaborate on the reason why you are here today? When did you first realize you had a problem? ”



EMMY-

“Well, lets just say I finally came to the realization that I had a problem when I evaluated my current financial situation and assets and realized that I have, well, let’s see…23 pairs of jeans, 42 sweaters, 17 scarves, 7 pairs of boots, and 21 dresses in my winter closet alone and well, I suppose the $23,950 charge summary on my Visa card and $6,200 charge on my Masters card were small hints that I had a problem with over-shopping as well…



MEDLODY-

…winter closet? Do you mean to say you have separate closets to store your apparel? My, my it has been quite some time since I’ve encountered someone quite as, um, shall I say experienced in the area of shopping as you, my dear. Alright, good. The next step is to share with the group what goes on in your mind while you are shopping…what compels you to make a purchase? Don’t worry, I’ve heard it all from ‘it makes me happy to buy it’ to ‘I feel like a complete person when I’m shopping’ so whatever it is, don’t worry. I promise you can be cured ”



EMMY-

“Ok, well, are you REALLY sure you want to hear what is going on in my head while I am shopping?”



Melody-

“Quite, my dear.”



EMMY-

“ Ok, well I ask myself WWJD.”





“You ask yourself ‘what would Jesus do’…? Ok, so you mean you wonder if the lord would approve of…”



EMMY-

“No silly! WWJD- Wear, Want, Justify, Deny!”



MELODY-

“Alright, my dear. I have never heard that before, care to elaborate?”



EMMY-

“ Ok, well first I think to myself: Where would I wear it? I try to come up with a list of 5 places where I could wear whatever it is I want to buy. If I can’t think of 5 places where I could wear it, I ask myself if I really truly want it. Usually, I don’t need to go past this step because I do really REALLY REALLY want it, like way more than a fat kid wants cake, but if I just kinda want it, I move on to step three! Justification. If I can’t think of that many places to wear it and I don’t really REALLY want it, I justify buying it using whatever I can think of. Like, for example, maybe I don’t have a sweater in that particular color, or if I do, maybe it doesn’t have long sleeves like the one I want to buy! If all the previous 4 steps end in failure, I move on to deny, which is simple. I deny that I lack both the space in my closet and the credit to buy the item and I purchase it anyway! (pauses) Melody?.....Aren’t you going to tell me what’s next?”



MELODY

“My, my in all my life I have never met someone as far over the edge as you!…(checks watch) Oh my, look how the time has flown by. We will meet again next week, same time. I trust you will continue with the meetings, miss Emmy?...and in the interim I suggest you try binge shopping at Target. That way when you purchase everything under the sun you will at least get a good deal! See you all next week.”
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