Review of my motivation letter

Hey guys,

I'm applying for a position of graduate trainee and I'm just wondering if you could review my letter of motivation. It's my first draft so it obviously needs some work, please help me to correct it if I'm wrong.

Due to the privacy reasons, all the private information is not disclosed.

Thanks!

Dear Sir or Madam,

Application for xxx - Commercial Banking

I am writing to apply for xxx - Commercial Banking advertised in ING website. I am enthusiastic and proactive, plus my personal qualities that gained through past experiences: I believe I would be a competent candidate for this programme.

Graduated in xxx with the major in Economics, I would like to devote myself in the financial industry. Therefore throughout the university life I concentrated my study into financial field. In addition, I participated in different activities in the university. This experience equipped me with multitasking and communication skills which I believe would help me contribute my efforts to xxx.

xxx aim’s to deliver its financial products and services in the way that meet the need of its clients, not only locally but also globally. xxx would therefore require candidates who possess of good communication skills. Thanks to my overseas exchange programme, exposure to the multicultural environment in xxx enriches my social network in Europe. The invaluable experience of making friends of people from different culture and norms strongly enriches my communication skill, which is the vital element for the ING International Talent Programme.

xxx undoubtedly consists of highly sophisticated and experienced financial professionals who provide clients with independent, insightful, and actionable advices and help clients to choose the best financial products and services. To get exposure to the real working environment in financial field, I joined xxx as an internee. With my previous experience of being an internee in Cash Management and Payment Services Department, I developed my analytical skills through assisted the research on xxx products and services in xxx. I had not only to faciltate the promotion of xxx products and services, but also communicate with the customers. This experience enhances my ability of multi-tasking skills under pressure as well as communication skills. I truly believe my experience and the skills gained from previous internship contribute to this position.

With strong communication skills and analytic skills, I am eager to join the big family of xxx. I have attached my resume for your review. I sincerely wish you to consider my application and grant me a chance for interview so that I can further demonstrate my ability and enthusiasm. If you have any enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact me and I am looking forward to your favorable reply.

Yours faithfully,