0
Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Review my summary pls :)

0Hello everybody, 02br
02br
02br
00I'm going to have a rather important test in the English language soon and really need to improve my writing.02br
02br
00That is why I'm writing quite a lot at the moment, but it is difficult to find mistakes yourself - short: I'm glad I found this place.02br
02br
02br
00I'd be really thankful if you could review the following text and inform me about any grammar, spelling or punctuation mistakes (last is the most difficult for me...). It would be also be nice if you would tell me if my language becomes low colloquial anywhere. It is the summary of some newspaper article about cloning.02br
02br
02br
00Thx in advance! 05002br
02br
02br
00***********02br
02br
00In „Cloning and Liberty“ Matt Ridley tells us about his view on modern genetic engineering and comments on the common reaction to the cloning of sheep Dolly.02br
02br
00He was surprised, that the successful cloning of a mammalian came all of a sudden to most of us. While reminding us, that the first artificial cloning was established already 30 years ago, he tries to point out, why there is no need to fear progress in this relatively new field of research. 02br
02br
00Spieling about the human angst of all new technologies Ridley makes clear, how all these technologies eventually were part of the avenue to prosperity, whereby he thinks about cloned as compensation for damaged organs.02br
02br
00Still it is not clear, when science will be ready to clone a human being. All experiments to clone mice have failed so far, which is due to the early differentiation of mice embryos. The differentiation of human embryos lies midway between sheep and mice. Even though there are still great hurdles to overcome, the author assumes that it is only a matter of time, until what so many fear becomes reality – cloned humans. 02br
02br
00He admits, that one day, cloning, like all other technologies before, will be misused. By emphasizing, that there has been no such incident in the last 25 years he instantly weakens this argument. 02br
02br
00Ridley proposes a temporary embargo to rethink unsettled questions and to celebrate the potential benefits afterwards, instead of rushing to ban human cloning.02br
02br
00To Ridley it is important to strengthen individuality. More liberty will antagonize uniformity. It will not hurt me, if my neighbour decides to clone himself, as long as it is his free wish. 02br
02br
00Countries who suffer from a dictatorship could exploit human reproductive cloning though. But this problem does not lie in the process itself, but in the missing liberty of these countries. 02br
02br
02br
00*******02br
02br
010id1
  

Top answer

0My two cents: You need to review the usage of commas. 0-

  • 0My two cents: You need to review the usage of commas.
  • 0-
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

2 Answers
0
0My two cents: You need to review the usage of commas. I don't know what marking scheme your examiner will use, but misplaced commas give essay scorers a very bad impression.0-
0
2br
00Hi,02br
02br
00I revised your paragraph. Hope this helps. Commas that are improperply used were omitted. Some phrases were added as well.02br
02br
00***sheila02br
02br
00In "Cloning and Liberty", Matt Ridley tells us about his view on modern genetic engineering and comments on the common reaction to the cloning of sheep Do

Related Questions