Review my essay and give me some comments,please. Give me estimated band if it is possible

Task 2: For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People hold different views about the influences of teachers as opposed to parents on school children’s intelligence and social skills. Some people are of the opinion that the impacts of teachers on children are much more than these of parents. To my view, I totally agree with this viewpoint and the reasons will be examined in this essay.

The first reason why for students their teachers play a greater role in the way they develop than their parents is that teachers spend a huge amount of time teaching their students while parents with tight schedule do not often have time to play with their kids. One good example to illustrate this is that most parents send their children to school in the morning and only pick them up in the late afternoon. Therefore, there is a good chance that teachers will be the first person notice about student’s developing progress, keep their students on the learning path.

Time aside, knowledge and skills should be mentioned as the second reason. Admittedly, while some parents,especially young parents are short of skills to interact with their children, teachers do not face these problems. With the supports of many teaching methods and all skills teachers are trained, they easily induce their students and provide an environment for students develop fully.For instance, in every class, teachers divide their students into groups, let them practice, discuss with other classmates, teach them how to communicate, to work in a team effectively. All these skills are vital for social development of students in the future.

In conclusion, the viewpoint says that in term of intelligence and social development of schoolchildren, their teachers have impact more than their parents is totally true.