Review Motivation Letter!

Hello everyone and happy new year!

I need some assistance in writing a motivation letter for a Masters Degree. I would much appreciate it if you guys could help me proofread and share any useful comments that could help me improve it. This is the first draft of my first letter ever. Thanks so much for any help!

Here it is:

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am applying to your Master Programme in International Law starting in September 2016. My goal is to build a career as an international civil servant focused on human rights and international law-making.

My interest in helping others and promoting justice have led me to a chose a career in Law. Short after beginning law school I volunteered at the university’s pro bono law firm, where I learned practical skills and was able to help less fortunate people with their legal issues.

Although I chose to study law I have always been very interested in international relations, for that reason I have participated in activities that relate to that filed, such as Model United Nations (MUN) events and the Y20 Youth Summit. As part of my goal to have an international career I chose to learn french and in 2011 I achieved level B2 at Alliance Française.

I thrive in a multicultural environment where I am able to help others and generate positive impact. Since a young age I have studied in international schools, where I was able to interact with people from all over the world. During middle and high school I started participating in various MUN events and in 2007 I attended the Harvard MUN representing the island of Kiribati.

When chosen to represent Brazil in the Y20 Youth Summit, I worked in collaboration with the delegation of Indonesia to approve a clause on women’s rights in the workplace. During the conference I had the opportunity of working together with people from various backgrounds and nationalities to plan, organize and negotiate the terms of a communique with the most pressing global issues for young people.

During Law School I chose to take “Peacekeeping Operations”, an elective course from the International Relations programme. I really enjoyed the experience and scored an average grade of 9,5 out of 10 in that subject. This positive result motivated me even more to pursue a career where I could combine law and international relations.

My final semester of Law School was dedicated to researching and writing my thesis about
the compatibility of the Brazilian Amnesty Law in face of the national law system and the Inter-American Human Rights System. I received the maximum grade for my work. Before graduation I was approved in the Brazilian BAR examination and became a certified lawyer.

During my internship at the State’s Attorney Office I had the chance to get closely involved with the difficulties that affect my country. As a public servant I interacted with less fortunate people that seeked to be compensated by government. I was able to notice how an inefficient system has the power to damage the lives of people who need it the most. My experience as intern strengthened my interest in learning from an international institution what can be done to change flawed government systems that decelerate the developing world.

While my academic career is very important to me, I also like to engage in extracurricular activities. I enjoy supporting animal rights causes and promoting adoption. Rio de Janeiro has a growing vegetarian and vegan community, in 2015 I helped elaborate and promote a specialised meet free menu. Moreover, I am interested in causes that promote health and quality of life, for that reason I participate and volunteer in an international foundation that teaches yoga and meditation.

I want to study at the xxx because it combines in an unique way various factors that I value in an institution: strong tradition, outstanding reputation in teaching world affairs, an exclusive location in the international city of xxx and solid career prospects after graduation. Most of all, the Institute gives me the opportunity to combine the disciplinary Master of International Law with subjects from other disciplines, such as international relations. I strongly value the opportunity to learn from other disciplines and for that reason I successfully applied for the Winter Programme xxx and am very eager to start.

Since before starting university it was clear I wanted to build an international career focused on building a better society, for that reason I believe my mission resonates with the Institute’s. To achieve my goals I have made choices that would help me become a better professional. My background in international events and my experience in working for the government will likely enrich the classe discussions. Furthermore, my upbringing in an emerging country will add diversity to the program.

Thank you for your kind consideration and I look forward to receiving your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,