Review ielts writing task 1

Question

The provided line graph represents the use of six different energies in the USA from 1980 to 2030 (forecast). Unit is measured in quadrillion.

A glance at the graph reveals that during a half century, 5 out of 6 energy sources keep increasing except Hydropower. Petrol and Oil has been consumed the most and is expected to still be the most-used fuel in the future.

In 1980, the greatest amount of fuel used for energy-generating went for Petrol and Oil, at about 35 quadrillion. Natural gas and Coal came in second and third, at 20 and around 16 respectively. Three other eco-friendly energy sources (Nuclear, Solar/Wind and Hydropower) just stood at approximately 4.

Over a time span of 50 years, consumption of Petrol and Oil is estimated to rocket sharply and finally reach 50 quadrillion in 2030. In the interim, the use of Coal is expected to nearly double and eventually surpass Natural gas, at more or less 30 and 20 respectively. In 2030, Nuclear and Solar/Wind energy is projected to mildly climb up, whilst, Hydropower is forecasted to remain static as compared to the amount in 1980.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The ~~provided~~ (Unnatural. Do not use these past participles. ) line graph represents the use of six different energies ( wrong expression, Unnatural) in the USA from 1980 to 2030 (forecast). Unit is measured ( wrong expression, We do not measure units. We measure time, lengths, amounts, quantities, and proportions. ) in quadrillion. (wrong form. That is a number, it is not a unit of measurement. Also, you did not tell the professor what these six types of energy are. Your essay will be very poor in coherence and cohesion because you did not introduce the graph adequately.)

A glance at the graph (That is quite terrible. The professor wants you to study the graph carefully for several minutes so you can write a good report. "A glance" is less than one second. Do not use "glance." with a university science professor. ) reveals that during a half century, ("A half century" can be any half century in the past. You must be specific. ) 5 (Do not use digits for small numbers unless they are measured or plotted data values) five out of 6 six energy sources (What are the other five? There is poor coherence and cohesion. ) keep increasing except Hydropower. Petrol and Oil has been consumed the most and is expected to remain ~~still be~~ the most-used fuel in the future.

In 1980, the greatest amount of fuel used ~~for energy-generating went~~ ~~for~~ was Petrol and Oil, at about 35 quadrillion (Quadrillion what? Quadrillion is not what is being measured or plotted. It is a scale only.) . Natural gas and Coal came in second and third, at 20 (missing units.) and around 16 (missing units.) respectively. Three other ~~eco-friendly~~ (Off-topic. Also Coal and Petrol are not eco-friendly. Your use of "other" implies that they are. ) energy sources (Nuclear, Solar/Wind and Hydropower) ~~just stood at~~ were all approximately 4. (4 what?)

~~Over a time span of 50 years~~, ("A time span" can be any half century in the past. You need a demonstrative pronoun to refer to the interval shown in the graph.) Over this fifty-year period, consumption of Petrol and Oil is estimated ~~to rocket~~ (wrong word. Do not use "drama" words like this in a math/science context. You have to be objective and neutral. Just describe the numbers. Read my advice. ) rise / increase / go up sharply and finally reach 50 quadrillion in 2030. ~~In the interim,~~ The use of Coal is expected to nearly double and eventually surpass Natural gas, (when? At what level or value?) at more or less (That makes no sense.) 30 and 20 respectively. In 2030, Nuclear and Solar/Wind energy is (wrong verb form) projected to rise ~~mildly climb up~~, (wrong words) whilst, Hydropower is forecasted to be ~~remain static as compared to~~ the same as the amount in 1980.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The first thing to do on the graphs that cover past and future is to determine what years are "past" and what years are "future."

You need to use past tense verbs for the past years and present or future tense for the "future" years.

In this topic, any data points after 2008 are "future" and all the others are past. Why is that? Because the research project that made this line graph published it in 2008! So all data from 2008-2030 were predictions.

The next thing you have to do is to understand the units of measure, which is "Quadrillion units." Probably it means BTU equivalents, but use what is specifically labelled on the Y axis. There is a trick for that, and it is to give it an abbreviation in the opening paragraph: Qu.

Then, you have to decide how you are going to group the six categories (fuel types) for comparisons. It is quite natural to group them into two categories: fossil fuels and renewable energy sources. Grouping categories and doing some very very elementary math (sums and divisions.) is required to get the higher band scores. This writing needs to be at the university level.

Here is an outline of the sample essay below.

Paragraph 1: Describe the line graph - the six curves, the time frame and the units.

Paragraph 2: Give 2-3 main features: the dominance of fossil fuels, and the growth in demand.

Paragraph 3: Make comparisons between the categories from the beginning to the end of the time period shown.

It is more important in the limited word count that you have in Task 1, to focus on the "big picture", not the minutia. The task instructions are "summarize" and "main features". The instructions are not "cover all details."

The line graph shows the amounts of six types of fuel that were consumed in the US to produce energy from 1980 to 2008, with a forecast to 2030. They are petrol and oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower. The units of measurement are Quadrillion units (Qu).

Overall, the fossil fuels (oil, coal and natural gas) were the dominant sources of energy and they are forecast to remain so. Energy from the renewables was minimal, and forecasts show only a slight increase. Total usage is expected to grow.

In 1980, the US used 83 Qu of energy from all sources, and that is projected to grow to 120 Qu in 2030. The highest proportion was for oil, 35 Qu of 83 Qu in 1980, and that will be only slightly less, 50 of 120 Qu in 2030. When the other two fossil fuels fuels are added in, it comes to 85% of the total, with the three renewable sources supplying about 15%. Although the amounts of nuclear and solar/wind are expected go up by 2-3 Qu from 2008, they still will represent a very small proportion of the total.

Review ielts writing task 1

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