Review ielts writing task 1

Question

The pie charts compare the difference with regard to the age structure of Yemen and Italy in the year 2000 and speculations for 2050.

Overall, there are four main age groups shown on the charts. After a period of 50 years, there will be considerable changes in the ages of the population in both countries.

As can be seen in the charts, in 2020, people from 15-59 years old made up the largest proportion in Italy, at 61,3%, compared to 46% in Yemen. However, over a period of a half decade, while this group of population in Yemen is predicted to increase to 57,3%, in Italy, it shows a sign of decrease to just under a half.

Turning to the remaining difference, there is a similar trend in the change of two left groups. In 2000, numbers of people less than 14 years old in Yemen compounded marginally more than 50%, more than triple to those in Italy, and this group is estimated to decline in 2050, at 37% and 11,5% respectively. While people who are 60+ years old just made up a slight number in Yemen in 2000, this group commanded nearly a quarter in Italy, and it is predicted to increase to almost double in both countries in 2050.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

The pie charts compare the difference with regard to the age structure (That is very poor English. I cannot understand it.) of Yemen and Italy in the year 2000 and speculations (wrong word) for 2050.

Overall, there are four main age grou

Overall, there are four main age groups shown on the charts. (This should be in the opening paragraph. It is not any main feature in the information content. You need to write the age groups when you describe the graphic. Read my advice.) After a period of 50 years, there will be considerable changes in the ages (That says nothing. After 50 years, there will be changes in cars, the internet, the climate, and everything else. You need to write specifically about the information in these charts.) of the population in both countries.

~~As can be seen in the charts~~, (Delete. It has no information about the data. Read my advice.) in 2020, people from 15-59 years old made up the largest proportion in Italy, at 61,3%, compared to 46% in Yemen. However, over a period of a half decade, (wrong information. A decade is 10 years. Half a decade is 5 years.) while this group of population in Yemen is predicted to increase to 57,3%, in Italy, it shows a ~~sign of~~ (incorrect. It is actually a decrease, not a sign of one.) decrease to just under a half.

~~Turning to the remaining difference,~~ there is a similar trend in the change of two left groups. (incorrect. A left group is one that is politically liberal. ) In 2000, numbers (wrong word. There are no numbers on these charts. A number would be something like 56,345 or 349,765. The values are percentages.) of people less than 14 years old in Yemen compounded (wrong word. This word is used in financial contexts.) . marginally (Wrong word. Marginal means "very small." "more than 50%" is not "marginal" Maybe 1.5% is marginal.) more than 50%, more than triple to those in Italy, and this group is estimated to decline in (wrong word. The change happens over a period of time, not in one year.) 2050, at 37% and 11,5% respectively. While people who are 60+ years old just made up a ~~slight number~~ small percentage in Yemen in 2000, this group commanded nearly a quarter in Italy, and it is predicted to increase to almost double in both countries in 2050.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay:

Note: The age groups are named in the first paragraph, so they can be referred to as "children", "seniors" and "adults' in the body paragraphs. This avoids having to write very cumbersome, awkward and repetitive phrases. Naming categories is a good technique to avoid wordiness.

The pie charts show the populations of Italy and Yemen broken down into three age groups at two points in time, 2000 and 2050 (forecast). The age brackets are: children of ages up to 14, seniors over 60 years old and adults between 15 and 59.

Overall, the proportions of children are expected to decrease, a substantial amount in Yemen, but only slightly in Italy. The opposite trend is for the seniors; their percentages are expected to nearly double in Italy, but remain at a relatively small proportion in Yemen.

In 2000, Yemen's population is divided nearly equally between the children (50.1%) and adults (46.3%), with seniors making up the remainder. In contrast, adults make up the greatest proportion of Italy's population, with 61.6%. Seniors and children are 24.1% and 14.3% respectively.

The population distributions projected for 2050 show that the proportion of adults and seniors in Yemen will rise by 11% and 3%, respectively with a 13% decrease in the youngest age group. In Italy, the senior population is forecast to rise by just over 18%, at the expense of the adults and children, down 15% and 3%, respectively.

Review ielts writing task 1

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