Review for me pls

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries, youngsters are normally think that they can achieve any goals if they work hard enough. I firmly believe that this situation brings some advantages to make students more motivated but unfortunately, there will have some negative issues affect mental health and wellness.

One the one hand, the most benefit of this is to give young people faith and hope to continue pursuing their dreams. If they have shaped their image in the future, they will be serious, give their best in their work to fulfill their dreams, that will increase their productivity at work. All famous people to have the popularity they are now, they have had to try, persevere in their work and practice their skills to have the achievements these days. The second reason is the difficulty of the situation helps them to have more positive thoughts in the future, they cannot depend on anyone to achieve their goals in the future, only if they try to overcome the situation by themselves rather than shrinking, confident because of your poverty without trying to achieve success yourself.

On the other hand, there are some problems may be cause by this situation. The first problem can create too much pressure for them, because to ensure their success, many people choose to work harder than they set out to achieve their goals when they exhausted so they have no time for themselves and family. For example, some young Japanese because they do not get the good marks or the jobs they want, they choose to commit suicide to get rid of this burden, it does not matter that they tried really hard. The second problem is that there are some people who deliberately cheat to achieve success such as bribery, buying points which are bad behaviors that makes them never able to try or persevere in any activity or job.