Request for correction of story synopsis

Hello everyone :-)

I hope I am not coming across as too demanding but I have a rather lengty text which I would very much like to have read through by somebody (preferably Dr D who was so kind in the past to read some of my writings ;-) thanks again for that).

I am aware that this text is much longer than appropriate (4 x A4 pages) and I don't want to take too much of your time or break any forum rules.

If somebody is still interested in helping me I would H I G H L Y appreciate it. I don't know who else to turn to, i.e. someone who really knows how to deal with this sort of stuff and I feel that this forum here is the right place.

I am willing to pay for the trouble, seriously, because this means an awful lot to me. So if someone would like to help me I will come up for the time and effort you put into reading and possibly correcting it. Just send me a pm or reply to this post and I will forward the text to you or post it here. Thank you very very much!