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Chowbarry Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing
Request for an improvement work
Please help me improve the following e-mail requesting for an improvement work. Thank you.
Subsequent to a site meeting with a District Mayor, Mr. Thompson on 20 July 2016, Mr. Thompson quoted the local residents' discontentment about the narrowness of the metal door at the public footpath located between the entrance of your Elegant Court and that of our clubhouse (Please see the attached location map and photos below), which had caused considerable inconvenience to the footpath users when ingressing and egressing there, particularly during the peak hours (0800-0900 & 1800-1900) with relatively high pedestrian flow. As such, Mr. Thompson requested the parties concerned to conduct an immediate study on widening the metal door, which was checked by our office to be under the management of your department.
Subsequent to a site meeting with a District Mayor, Mr. Thompson on 20 July 2016, Mr. Thompson quoted the local residents' discontentment about the narrowness of the metal door at the public footpath located between the entrance of your Elegant Court and that of our clubhouse (Please see the attached location map and photos below), which had caused considerable inconvenience to the footpath users when ingressing and egressing there, particularly during the peak hours (0800-0900 & 1800-1900) with relatively high pedestrian flow. As such, Mr. Thompson requested the parties concerned to conduct an immediate study on widening the metal door, which was checked by our office to be under the management of your department.
Top answer
You are overdoing it; you are turning your reader against you. On July 20th, the District Mayor, Mr. Thompson, mentioned local residents' complaints about the narrow door of the public footpath between Elegant Court and our clubhouse (map and photos below), which creates a bottleneck, particularly during peak hours.
- You are overdoing it; you are turning your reader against you.
- On July 20th, the District Mayor, Mr.
- Thompson, mentioned local residents' complaints about the narrow door of the public footpath between Elegant Court and our clubhouse (map and photos below), which creates a bottleneck, particularly during peak hours.
- Mr.
- Thompson requested the parties concerned to immediately study widening the door, which is under the management of your department.
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2 Answers
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You are overdoing it; you are turning your reader against you.
On July 20th, the District Mayor, Mr. Thompson, mentioned local residents' complaints about the narrow door of the public footpath between Elegant Court and our clubhouse (map and photos below), which creates a bottleneck, particularly during peak hours. Mr. Thompson requested the parties concerned to immediately study wide
On July 20th, the District Mayor, Mr. Thompson, mentioned local residents' complaints about the narrow door of the public footpath between Elegant Court and our clubhouse (map and photos below), which creates a bottleneck, particularly during peak hours. Mr. Thompson requested the parties concerned to immediately study wide
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